Ask Mind Your Midlife: Meditation, Self-Confidence, and the Power of Color (Ask MYM Part 1, Ep. 40)

0:00 One thing about a podcast is I get to talk to you every week and maybe even bonus episodes, like we've had this past week and yet you don't necessarily get to talk to me, and I am a coach, really, and a teacher, so I want to know what you want to know, and that is why this is the first episode of Ask Mind your Midlife. I have some questions that you have given me as a listener and I'm excited to answer them and I'm excited to hear what you're going to ask next. So here we go Welcome to Mind your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time.

0:49 Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life or feel truly confident in your body. Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies and oh my goodness powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife. This is the Mind your Midlife podcast. So, because this is the very first Ask Find your Midlife episode, I'm going to do this about once a month, once every six weeks. I'm not going to I don't know, we'll see how it flows but because this is the very first one, I put the word out on social media and if we're not connected yet on social media, find me.

1:38 I'm on most of them. As Cheryl P Fisher, come find me. I would love to connect with you. Send me a DM. Whatever it is that's on your mind, either when you're listening to a podcast like this one about midlife, or when you're just going through your day and you're getting frustrated about something. That's what I want you to ask about, because maybe I can give you just a little tweak to how you're thinking about that, just a little slight different angle that you can look at your situation from. Or maybe something you can actually do to make a change. We all need help with that sometimes.

2:21 Or maybe you have a question that's going to jog me to grab an expert in that particular area and bring them on for an episode. I'm totally open to that as well. So find me on social, cheryl P Fisher. There'll be links in the show notes. Send me a DM, tell me what your questions are, and there will be a link in the show notes and there has been for the past few episodes saying ask mind your midlife a question, click that link and you're basically going to be able to text me a question, so don't be surprised when it becomes a text. It's real, it's not anything weird or scammy. Text me a question. I would love to get them that way too. All right, so here we go.

3:02 Today, I have two of your questions and I have a third one that's just kind of funny, so you can ask me funny stuff too. I suppose these came in on threads and Instagram recently, and I have a few more that came in as well, so we'll keep it rolling. As I said, this won't be a one-off episode. First question says I saw you talk about meditation a while ago. Should I try it and is there an easy way? Great question, and yes, I did talk about meditation a while ago. That was when the podcast was still under the old name name.

3:46 Omg, teach Me. No worries, you can go find the episode either by clicking in the show notes I'm going to put the link in there or by going to Mind your Midlife on your podcast app, which you probably are in right now, now that I think about it, and scrolling down and finding episode 58 from back in May of 2024. And again, it'll be linked in the show notes. Let's make it easy. But yes, we did talk about meditation. Angela Smith joined me on that episode and she kind of blew my mind because I knew that I was supposed to meditate and I didn't do it.

4:31 If I'm being honest, I didn't do it. I didn't feel like I had time, I didn't want to sit still, I feel you if that's what's going through your mind when you think about meditation, and what she explains in that episode is that it's not just a woo-woo thing that we need to um our way through the day. It's healthy for our brains and I am a brain science nerd. I was absolutely fascinated when she was talking about that. So starting to practice meditation, even if it's five minutes, starts to teach your brain how to refocus, teaches your nervous system how to calm down.

5:20 So healthy for, just I mean every part of your body. I'm not going to revamp that whole episode, that wasn't really the question but it's so healthy and the goal is not to start with 20 minutes or 30 minutes or an hour of meditation, because your brain is not going to work with you, because you haven't taught it this really important skill of bringing focus back and calming down. So we start small and I have an answer for you, because the question was should I try? Yes, yes, you should.

6:03 Is there an easy way? I'm going to tell you how I have started meditating and see if this will work for you, because I needed an easy way. I had all the brain going everywhere and busy day and all of that, so I needed an easy way as well. Actually, I have two suggestions for you. So start with five minutes. Number one and I am kind of best friends with my timer on my Apple Watch. I use the timer all the time. I use it when I'm cooking or when I'm supposed to be doing something in a few minutes, or I just use it all the time. I put timers on all the time. Sometimes then, when it goes off, I can't remember what the timer was for, but eventually I do.

6:44 So put a timer on for five minutes and I do what I call the legs up against the wall meditation. There is a yoga pose called legs up against the wall, and it is exactly what it sounds like legs up against the wall, and it is exactly what it sounds like. You scoot your butt forward, sitting on the ground, until you get as close to the wall as you can, and then you are lying with your back on the floor and your legs are up against the wall, so your body's in an L Super, super, super healthy for blood flow. If you have issues like I do, where your feet swell, super healthy for blood flow.

7:26 If you have issues like I do, where your feet swell, getting those feet above your heart for a little bit of time each day, really healthy, you can look that up as well. It's a super healthy thing to do and so I do that because I know I need to and I meditate while doing it. So I'm lying on the floor with my legs up against a wall or often up against a chair or whatever is around me, and I set my watch for five minutes and I close my eyes and I either am counting to myself one, two, one with the taking a breath in and two with taking a breath out, or in out, and the reason you hear of people doing um or something like that is it's good to give your brain kind of an anchor word to focus on.

8:12 So, depending on my mood, I might be doing in, out with my breath, or one, two just silently in my head, and I just lie there and I do that and I try to just be calm and empty my head. Now, when you try this, you will not be able to empty your head for five minutes, unless you already are a great meditator. You're going to think about other things. Little worries are going to creep in. You're going to think about what you're making for dinner. You're going to think about that top that you saw online. It's okay and you'll hear Angela say this if you go back and listen to that episode. It's okay. The power of meditation is knowing how to bring your mind back, that doing that, bringing your mind back is possibly the biggest benefit of meditation.

9:06 So it's okay. If your mind wanders, don't get upset at yourself. Don't tell yourself that you know I could never do this. I knew I couldn't do this. It's normal, and the act of coming back from that is the best part. So you realize oh wait, why am I thinking about what I'm making for dinner? And you go back and you say one, two with your in and out breath, deep breaths. You could add some breath work in while you're at it, sort of an average to slow pace, and then, when your timer goes off, pat yourself on the back. That's your very first five minutes of meditation, and you can keep going with five minutes, or you could gradually increase it if it's feeling good for you and you're liking it.

9:47 That is the way I started meditating and it really it's kind of two birds with one stone for me, and so I hope you'll try it. I want you to tell me again, find me on social, tell me what did you think? The second suggestion I have for you is what Angela called the five senses meditation, and I love this one too. So right now, where I am in DC, it's hot. It's like heat warning hot, and so you may be in that same boat with me, and so I'm be in that same boat with me, and so I'm not walking around outside, if I can help it, unless it's early or late. But if you are going for a walk maybe you're going for a hike you can meditate in an active way as well, and there are so many brain benefits to this as well, and so while you're out on your walk, you can do a little exercise of recognizing, with all five senses, what's around you.

10:43 So what do you see? Notice what's around you? What do you smell? Are there any smells? What do you hear? Notice what the sounds are that are going on around you? What are you touching? Does the air have a feel? Feel your feet hitting the path or the sidewalk? And do you taste anything? Maybe you're walking by a restaurant? Is there anything in the air? Go through all your five senses and just be observant and just wonder, and even the practice of that, although it doesn't feel like traditional meditation, is still good for your brain in the same way, and you can set a timer for this if you want to.

11:28 You know I love my timer and you can go through and just notice for five minutes and then continue on your walk doing whatever else you were doing. That is also a great way to try. So I hope that answers your question. I love that question because I think it's going to help so many people because, yes, there is an easy way to start. Try one of those, try both of those, one one day, one the next day. See what you like best. Just do it with like a light and easy energy. There's no wrong, there's no bad. Everything you do related to helping your brain and body relax and calm down and focus is good. It does help, all right. Question two how do I rediscover purpose and passion after age 50?

12:16 Rediscover purpose and passion after age 50? This came in on threads recently and I actually love that. You asked this question because Lisa Andrea joined me on the podcast a week ago on episode 38. So go go head down there and find it while you're listening to the podcast if you haven't heard that one. And she is a transformation coach, and so what we were talking about was getting through limiting beliefs, and what she then talked with me about for my Patreon members was how to rediscover your purpose and passion. Oh, my goodness, there we go this. I did not plant this question, I promise. There we go this.

13:00 I did not plant this question, I promise. So if you haven't heard that bonus discussion on Mind your Midlife Pivot on Patreon, go to patreoncom. Slash mindyourmidlife. All of the material, all of the interviews, all of the bonuses are still accessible in the join for free version through the end of August, so you can catch it Now. That being said, I've had a few episodes recently with people who focus on helping us to figure out our second act that was Shannon Russell, you can find that one too and at looking at our lives like a story that was Anna Parker and figuring out what's next in the story and how does it all connect?

13:41 And I have to say, when I think about rediscovering a passion, I think about something that you love to do. So maybe when you're in your 50s I'm in my 50s, so I think we're all in the same boat here when you're in your 50s, maybe you've been doing whatever your career is for a long time and you know you're not going to be doing it forever. Or maybe you hope that and you're starting to watch your friends retire and you're starting to watch your friends go and do the travel or do the volunteering, or get involved in fun things or play pickleball in the middle of the morning or whatever it is, and you're thinking, well, how can I do that?

14:25 What fun things would I want to do? So this might be purpose and passion in terms of fun aspects of your post-career life, or it might be purpose and passion in terms of I am ready to make a change. I've got 10 years in my career left, or something like that. What do I want to do? So there's kind of two pieces to that. But I want you if I cull together all the advice that we've heard recently I want you to think about what you enjoy, what you are enthusiastic about, when you have a day where you're like, wow, that was a good day, great things happened.

15:07 What were those things? What types of interactions were you having with that work and with people? Was it a one-on-one situation? Was it that you weren't having to be around people a lot? Was it a large group of people? How did the interaction go that energized you and that you felt good about? What was the action you were taking? Was it data analysis? Was it speaking? Was it something else? Find the patterns and then think back to when you were younger and think about what did you do for fun? When you were a kid, I actually played school.

15:50 I played school and I played this crazy game called plant doctor that my friend and I made up. It's not worth explaining, but anyway I was always diagnosing and teaching, I guess. And think about the things that you thought were fun. Now you probably can't go bike around your neighborhood for a living. Now you probably can't go bike around your neighborhood for a living, but maybe you need to be more active in what you're doing. Or maybe you have really a passion for fitness. Maybe there's a thread there that you can pull, and so how do you rediscover your purpose and your passion? See what those threads are that link everything in your story.

16:31 See if there's anything that you're doing right now, that there's a piece of that that you're excited about. Can you add more of that? Can you make a slight adjustment? This takes time and it takes trial and error, and the trial and error is what you learn from. So that will get you started and I'm super excited about that. Make sure you're in Patreon so you can hear my talk with Lisa Andrea about this exact thing and I hope that answers your question. I know everybody has that question, so thank you for asking. All right Now the last one for today's Q&A. Today's Ask Mind your Midlife is why do you wear green all the time?

17:13 And this question made me laugh because I do wear a lot of green. Now, actually you're not seeing me probably as you are listening to this, but I actually don't have green on today. I have a pink shirt on. So it's amusing that I'm answering this question, but I do wear green a lot and I know it was kind of meant to be a fun, silly question and I was encouraging that and at the same time. I think maybe there's a little something we can learn from this too. So why do I wear green all the time? Because green has been almost my entire life my favorite color. It makes me happy. It just makes me happy. As I was thinking about this, I was wondering why is that?

17:57 And I really think it's because so much in nature is green. I think somehow I have a connection between leaves on trees and that sort of thing with the color green, because I like that bright, leaf green, kelly green sort of thing with the color green, cause I like that bright, like leaf green, kelly green especially. And and that's a good thing because being outside, being in nature, forest bathing is a real thing. It doesn't mean taking a bath in the forest, it just means being there in the trees, in the nature is healthy. That's a real thing. And, interestingly, I love to combine green with brown. So there we go, I'm dressing myself like a tree. Let me also say we're in midlife and let's dress how we want to dress and let's pick the clothes and the colors that make us happy and let's pick the fun glasses or fun sunglasses.

18:52 It's time. Maybe you've been doing that all along and I applaud you if that's the case, but a lot of us haven't been. We've been, maybe, trying to blend in. We spend our teenage years really trying to blend in and be accepted, and that's completely normal. There's nothing wrong with that. It's kind of a part of human development that we spend a period of our lives as the center of our own worlds, and that is the case as kids and then as teens we're still sort of the center of our own worlds, having trouble seeing other people's perspectives, and we're starting to see that we want to be in their worlds.

19:33 So we're trying to fit in. And that really hit me for sure. It took me a long time to speak up when I want to stand up for something. It took me a long time to learn how to do that. So I encourage you at this point in midlife dress how you want to dress, look how you want to look, pick out the colors in your house and in your wardrobe that make you happy, period. And I guess that's what I do with green. It makes me happy, and when people say, look, you're wearing green again, I say yep, I don't know if you meant that to be a negative, but I love it. So that's the attitude that I wish for you on anything like that, and thank you for asking me that question.

20:17 I really do love it. It makes me happy. I hope that you found this Q&A interesting. I am planning another one. This is August. We're going to do another one late August, early September. I can't wait to see what questions you have for me. Scroll down in the show notes, click the link that says ask a question. You can text me a question or, as I said, find me on social media. Cheryl P Fisher. Dm me a question and I will answer it on the podcast. I'm super excited to at least be able to connect with you in this way. Super excited to at least be able to connect with you in this way. So our OMG moment today is my favorite piece of advice for us midlife women.

21:00 Please be just a little bit more kind to yourself. Treat yourself just a little bit better. Better, and maybe that's allowing yourself to have a little bit more fun, like we were just talking about. Maybe it's eating a little bit better, having a little bit healthier habits, maybe it's all the thoughts. Be a little bit more kind to yourself. That's all it takes to have an amazing midlife. We just need to treat ourselves a little bit better than we used to and watch what happens. Now make sure that you have hit the follow button, because next week, speaking of treating ourselves a little bit better, I have an expert coming to join us to talk about sleep, one of the most popular topics, because, goodness, when I sit down with friends at brunch or wherever, are you talking about sleep?

21:56 Because we are, so I will see you. Then she's going to help us out and, in the meantime, slow down, notice what's going on around you, notice what's going on in your head, and let's create something amazing.