A Job Loss You Didn't Want & How to Move Through It - Part 2

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Hello, here we are for part two of the September Secret Podcast mini-series about moving through a job change that you did not want.

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If you haven't listened to part one, do stop this and go back and listen to part one.

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We talked about the initial shock, what's going to be going on in your heart and in your head in the initial shock and how to start moving through that.

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And so this is a continuation because you learned how to vent, you learned how to deep breathe to calm your nervous system.

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We need to go further with that.

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So today we want to honor our feelings about this situation.

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And whenever I say honor your feelings, there's a little voice in my head from the old me that says that's so woo-woo and touchy feely.

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How silly.

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It feels, I don't know, it feels silly to me.

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And it's so important.

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So important, so important, so important.

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I can't say it enough.

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The more we honor, validate, and then process our feelings, the more quickly we're gonna be able to have ideas and move forward and feel good about ourselves, and that's the basis of the entire rest of this.

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So, how are we gonna do that?

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You are already, hopefully, with your process from the last episode, starting to take the edge off, I'm gonna say, of some of the just bad negative feeling stuff that's going on for you.

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So let's take that to the next level because what you need now is to be able to climb out of this bad feeling despair situation and start creatively thinking.

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That's that's next time.

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What am I gonna do?

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And feeling good about it and trusting yourself to do it and moving forward.

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So here are your tools.

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Tapping.

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Tapping is a way of clearing energy in the body and feelings, emotions are energy.

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So if we can clear them, if we can process them, everything flows more easily.

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So I'm gonna give you a very short tapping practice right now.

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And as you're listening to this, I'm gonna say something.

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I'm gonna tell you what part of my face or body I'm tapping on, and you can be saying it with me if you kind of know now after a few listens what I'm gonna say, or you can be saying it after me.

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I'll give you a little bit of time each time.

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So, what we do, uh, and make sure you go back to Mind Your Midlife podcast and listen to the tapping episode to give you a primer if you haven't heard of this before.

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Okay, so we're gonna start by tapping on the karate chop point, the outside of your hand, either hand, with the fingers of the other hand, and I'm gonna make a statement that I'm gonna say three times that may or may not exactly apply to you, so you can adjust yours as you say it to yourself.

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Even though I'm so frustrated about this job situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Even though I'm so frustrated about this job situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Even though I'm so frustrated about this job situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Now I'm moving to tapping on the inside corner of my eyebrow, either eye.

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I can't believe this happened to me.

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You can repeat.

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Outside of the eye, on the bone.

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I was working hard.

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I was going in the direction I wanted to.

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Underneath the eye.

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It feels like everything just was stolen from me.

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Underneath the nose.

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And my brain just keeps saying, I'm too old to change.

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I'm too old, it's too hard.

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I'm not gonna be able to change.

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Underneath the mouth.

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I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.

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Collarbone.

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I don't know how I'm gonna support my family, and I'm so upset.

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Underneath the arm, around where your bra strap would be.

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Every day I just I just I just wanna punch something.

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Crown of the head.

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And I feel so sad.

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How did I end up here?

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Now pause and go back a couple minutes and do that again if you need to kind of process and process, or simply go through the points again, saying your own stuff about what you're upset about.

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It's it's going to help you again to let that energy move through your body.

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You may not be ready to flip it to be a little bit more positive.

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So repeat the negative.

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It's okay.

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Repeat the negative.

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I'm gonna move on to a positive statement now.

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So I'm going back to the inside of my eyebrow.

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I know that I'm worthy and I'm enough.

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Outside of the eye.

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I'm a good worker and I'm a smart person.

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Underneath the eye.

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I believe I can figure this out.

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Under the nose.

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It's okay if I have some challenges along the way.

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Under the mouth.

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I can figure this out.

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Collarbon.

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This doesn't erase all my achievements.

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Under the arm.

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I know I've had lots of wins in my career.

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The crown of the head.

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I know I can keep going.

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I want you to go back to the karate chop point.

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Even though I'm unhappy about this situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Even though I'm unhappy about this situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Even though I'm unhappy about this situation, I fully love and accept myself.

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Now, I want you to do this whenever you can, because it will help you.

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I I mean, every time I do tapping, I just feel this little bit more peaceful sense.

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And that's the energy flowing better and stopping those blocks.

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And it comes from acupressure and acupuncture, the idea of energy flowing through your body.

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So this is not something I made up, it's it's been studied, it's an actual accepted practice for counseling and therapy.

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So do try that and reach out to me if you want to go further and you want it more personalized.

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Now, the next thing I'm going to recommend is meditation.

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And again, we're doing this.

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This today's mini episode is to help you honor your feelings so that then we're ready to go forward and we're ready for some of these practical coaching tips that I'm going to give you.

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So meditation is really about learning how to calm your brain and thus calm your body.

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It's not about any particular thing you want to say, it's not about exactly what you're going to be doing while you're meditating.

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It's not about any of those details.

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It's about learning how to calm your brain and thus calm your body.

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And you are not going to be perfect at it.

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Your brain's going to wander and you're going to need to bring it back.

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And that's okay because that the act of bringing your brain back to what you were doing is the power.

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That's what you're learning.

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So, my favorite ways to start meditating, and really, this is all that I do because meditation is not my strength.

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It's important though.

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I love to set a five-minute timer.

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And I a lot of times do the legs up against the wall yoga pose.

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I talked about this on a podcast episode because it helps my poor, sad feet feel better.

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And I count one, two, along with breathing in and out.

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In one, out, two.

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Or sometimes I just say in my head, in out slowly.

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And I try to not think about anything else.

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And of course I think about other things.

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But then I bring myself back one, two, or in out.

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You could do this for longer if that's already easy for you.

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Fantastic.

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That's it.

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I also have a podcast episode on Mind Your Midlife for a walking meditation.

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Grab that.

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That is simply making sure you're present.

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So you could go sit on your porch right now and you could look at the trees.

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And you could look at the sky.

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You could maybe take your shoes off and stand in the grass or stand on the sand.

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And you could hear the sounds.

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And you could smell the air.

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Just using your senses like that is again a meditation.

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I do a lot of the one, two, or in-out meditation at night when I am falling asleep to calm my brain.

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So try that.

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Because when we're in this situation that we didn't want to be in and we've got a lot of negative stuff going on, calming our bodies, learning how to is such a powerful tool because then we're going to be able to move forward with creativity because the brain works better when it's calm.

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Now, if those feel like not enough for you, then maybe it's coaching or it's therapy that you also want to include.

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I am happy to talk to you about coaching, of course, or maybe it's more of a therapy situation.

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Therapy means that your therapist is trained to help you figure out all of this connects, how all of this connects over your life and process really traumatic feelings and emotions.

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Coaching means that you want to move forward and you want some tools and you want to understand maybe how you're holding yourself back.

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That hopefully helps you make sense of the difference.

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And if you want recommendations for therapists, I might be able to help you.

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Feel free to reach out to me.

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I can definitely talk with you about coaching.

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So let me know how it goes when you try these ways of honoring your feelings and make them part of your daily practice.

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It will make a difference.

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And I'll see you next time.