There is a middle ground with alcohol that affects so many of us in midlife: we're not dealing with addiction, but we often wake up feeling guilty, tired, and stuck in a cycle of habitual drinking. We tell ourselves we’ll stop, only to pour another glass to take the edge off a stressful day.

In this episode, I welcome Colleen Freeland, founder of Emotional Sobriety Coaching and host of the It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. We discuss why high-functioning women use alcohol to cope, the difference between positive and negative reinforcement, and how to retrain your brain using mindfulness rather than willpower.

What You’ll Learn:

The Root of the Habit: Drinking too much is not self-indulgent. It is actually a symptom of self-neglect and a way to cope with running on a deficit.

The Restriction Trap: Using willpower to avoid alcohol can feel like a Chinese finger cuff, where the harder you pull away, the tighter it gets. If you do not solve the underlying pattern, you will simply switch to another coping mechanism.

The "Delay, Don't Deny" Strategy: You can learn to delay pouring a drink by taking five to fifteen minutes to do something else that invites pleasure. This practice helps retrain your brain and rebuilds neural pathways without requiring strict, all-or-nothing abstinence.

Links & Resources:

Episode Sponsor Vitamin G (Use code MINDYOURMIDLIFE for 10% off at Cherylpfischer.com/vitaminG)

Colleen's Quiz and Website: emotionalsobrietycoaching.com

Colleen's Podcast: It's Not About the Alcohol

Colleen's Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

Take Colleen's quiz: What type of drinker are you?

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Episode Chapters:

00:00:00 - The Wine Guilt Cycle
00:01:33 - Sponsor Break Vitamin G
00:02:07 - Midlife Sleep And The Tipping Point
00:04:40 - Meet Colleen And Emotional Sobriety
00:06:53 - Too Much Drinking As Self Neglect
00:10:06 - Positive Vs Negative Reinforcement
00:14:17 - Why Cold Turkey Can Backfire
00:18:10 - Delay Don’t Deny And New Pleasures
00:22:21 - Nervous System Tools Over Willpower
00:25:21 - Mindfulness And Reconnecting To Your Body
00:29:55 - Where To Find Colleen And The Quiz
00:34:27 - Key Takeaways And Closing Reflection

Why This Episode Matters By recognizing that your drinking habits might just be a coping mechanism for a busy, stressful life, you can strip away the guilt and start giving yourself the grace you deserve.

Take a little bit better care of yourself in midlife.

00:00 The Wine Guilt Cycle
01:33 Sponsor Break Vitamin G
02:07 Midlife Sleep And The Tipping Point
04:40 Meet Colleen And Emotional Sobriety
06:53 Too Much Drinking As Self Neglect
10:06 Positive Vs Negative Reinforcement
14:17 Why Cold Turkey Can Backfire
18:10 Delay Don’t Deny And New Pleasures
22:21 Nervous System Tools Over Willpower
25:21 Mindfulness And Reconnecting To Your Body
29:55 Where To Find Colleen And The Quiz
34:27 Key Takeaways And Closing Reflection