Why You Struggle with Sleep in Midlife - And How to Fix It, with Carin Luna-Ostaseski (Ep. 18)

0:00 Maybe this is true for you. Maybe it's not. When I am out to brunch or happy hour with my friends, I always end up in a conversation at some point about sleep and hot flashes and waking up in the middle of the night, always. And we're trying to help each other. We're trying to give each other advice. We're trying to figure out what to do. And so I really wanted to be able to make an episode about sleep and some advice that might be helpful, because I do think that we get very stressed about this. And that, of course, is kind of making the problem worse.

0:41 So let's talk sleep. Stick with me. Welcome to Mind Your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time. Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life or feel truly confident in your body. Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies and, oh my goodness, powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife. This is the Mind Your Midlife podcast. It is right now, Friday, March 7th, that this episode is dropping.

1:26 And that means that in two days or a day in something, we're going to spring forward. And I always find the spring time change to be more challenging than the fall. We tell ourselves that we're losing an hour. And even though I'm so excited always for it to be light later in the evening, you may or may not agree with me, but I bet you do. I struggle with this. I've lost an hour. And isn't it funny how it affects us so much, this one hour time change. And maybe you've traveled around the world in different time zones the way I have. I'm convinced that this one hour time change affects me more sometimes than a three or a four hour time change. So...

2:12 On this auspicious occasion of we're about to change time for spring. I have a guest with me to help us figure out, are there some tips, are there some solutions that we can use to improve our sleep during this midlife period of time? And what I really want to help you with is just minimizing the stress that we have about it, because I think sometimes we get way caught up in our heads telling ourselves, I'm not sleeping well, it's going to affect my health, it's going to affect my work, it's going to affect my attitude. And the problem with that is, if in your head all day is running, I'm not sleeping well and this is creating a big problem, then it kind of reemphasizes the problem, if that makes sense.

3:05 So the very first piece of advice before our guest joins us is always pay attention to those thoughts that are running around in your mind. They're not bad. They're not wrong. We just want to recognize them and ask ourselves, as we've talked about before, is that really true? Is it true, factual, or is it something that I'm worried might be true but hasn't happened yet or I'm not sure? because if it hasn't happened yet or I'm not sure, then maybe I want to think about something else. Maybe I want to see if I can shift that thought a little bit. And maybe it helps in this particular case with regard to sleep to be able to do some actionable tips as well to make our sleep better.

3:49 Joining me today is Karine Luna Ostaseski, and she is the founder of Hot or Just Me, which is an online shop and a resource for information for managing perimenopause and menopause. And I was so excited to discover Hot or Just Me. It's products, it's advice, it's a bookstore, a supportive community, all of that together in one place. So you'll definitely want to check that out with the link in the show notes. She is a serial entrepreneur as well. She's the first American woman and Hispanic person to create a Scotch whiskey, and it's an award-winning blend.

4:35 She also took that business and ran with it to support other entrepreneurs with grants and with mentorship. Her story is really very cool. And Corrine, I am so glad you can join us today. Welcome. Hi, Cheryl. Thanks for having me. Thanks for joining us. Let's just start at the beginning is maybe how I'm going to say it. How did you end up doing what you're doing and that is providing solutions and products for women in midlife? And maybe this is also your perimenopause story. Absolutely. So I'm 47 years old and my hot flashes started in my early 40s. And there was this question that I asked myself and pretty much everyone around me was, hey, is it hot or is it just me?

5:21 And that led me to realize first that it was mostly just me and also that I was well into perimenopause. I had other symptoms that followed like brain fog, anxiety, low libido, hair loss, and started reaching out to doctors that weren't much help until I finally found a doctor that was great. We started having conversations around HRT and when it's the right time for me to start. But along the way, I did find some really amazing products and services that made a huge impact and difference in my life and realized that they could help a lot of women as well. So that's how I created Hotter Just Me, which is a platform with resources, articles, personalized quiz, and products that can help support women through their symptoms.

6:02 I love that. I love it. And this is something that a lot of people I've had on the podcast do, but I love it when we have an issue and we figure out how to solve the issue and then we create a business out of that and we help other people. Yeah, it's fun. In entrepreneurial circles, we call it scratching your own itch. So yeah, you've got something that's like bothering you and you're like, hey, this needs a solution. And so you go out and create one when you don't see one out there for yourself. Yeah. And usually it is the case. Somebody needs what it was that you needed. So why not? Yeah, exactly. I love it. Okay. So today we're going to talk about sleep. And I think it's going to weave into a lot of the other symptoms that you mentioned as we talk.

6:43 But this is absolutely the number one concern that comes up whenever I talk to women about what they're facing in midlife. And it's interesting because I typically am talking to women about mindset and maybe burnout and more mental and emotional challenges that they might be having, but still sleep is involved. Yeah, I mean, it goes hand in hand, right? We're career women, we're entrepreneurs, we're taking care of children, we're taking care of our parents, we're dealing with so much at the same time. And so it 100% has everything to do with mindset. Absolutely. And if you don't get enough sleep, it's a little hard to have a healthy mindset and control your emotions in a constructive way.

7:30 Yeah. I mean, perimenopausal or not, right? Yeah, exactly. Anytime. Yeah. If you have a bad night of sleep, it affects so many aspects of your life, right? You wake up and you're kind of like a little groggy, a little moody, maybe irritable. You you feel like oh okay maybe i need to have more caffeine than usual and that's going to make you jittery and anxious you might make bad food decisions you might skip the gym and so that affects so much as well right there you think about your day at work you're going to have problems concentrating or some more brain fog issues than usual and then you know when it comes time to be with your partner you might not just be in the mood right so it impacts low libido So if you kind of go back in your way back machine and, you know, like redo these dominoes that just fell and it all kind of started with having a bad night of sleep.

8:21 And so if you could optimize for a good night of sleep, it can just have a massive impact on your day and your outcomes. Absolutely. So how much sleep would be ideal to be getting at this time of life? Yeah. So let's call this time of life somewhere like late 30s up until mid 50s, right? Right. Perimenopause can be the three to 10 years leading up to the day of menopause. So that's when you don't have your period for 12 months. And on average, it's about seven years for women with the average age of menopause being 51. But this could just, it could vary greatly. And recommended is somewhere between seven and eight hours of sleep. And, you know, easier said than done, right? When you just think about, you know, what your day is like, stress levels, your cortisol, everything that you're dealing with and then you know coupled with anxiety or insomnia you know how to how to get back to sleep and have that continuous sleep so it's not just hours but it's quality of sleep as well.

9:17 Yeah. And for me personally, and I'm in my almost mid 50s, I have always been a good sleeper. My family kind of laughs at me like my head hits the pillow and I'm out. Lucky you. I know. However, in the past couple of years, I'm like flipping flopping all night, can't get comfortable and waking up at like three or four in the morning and thinking through every possible problem that my mind can conjure up, even though I know I'm not supposed to do that. So where is it coming from when we have these issues? Yeah, so the National Sleep Foundation actually found that 61% of women in perimenopause or menopause will experience insomnia.

9:59 This is due to a drop in hormones as we age and end our reproductive cycle. We'll experience some kind of factors, including hot flashes and night sweats, which I get a lot of. And it's about 40% of perimenopausal women that will have these hot flashes. As you said, there's, you know, mental issues that like resemble anxiety, depression, memory issues. And these are all just, again, associated with the change in hormones during this time. There could be some underlying medical conditions, sleep apnea, mood disorders, a thyroid disorder, cardiac issues. So, you know, I definitely advise people to consult your physician if you have trouble sleeping because it might be related to more than menopause.

10:39 It could be, you know, sleep apnea, adrenal fatigue or something else. So definitely rule out those factors. and it could be medications that we're taking as well. So a lot of factors can go into having a poor night's sleep. So it's definitely important to kind of go through the tests to rule out anything major or serious. Yeah, that's a great point. And I always want to make sure we say something like that when we start talking about things that potentially could be medical. Yes, see your doctor. And maybe it's also think about what you've changed, because what I hear you saying is it could be medications, it could be a medical problem, it could just be your hormone levels dropping. So if nothing else has changed, then maybe that's the likely culprit. it.

11:20 Yeah. And that's why also it's important to have the right doctor. So I had to go through a couple of doctors as the doctors that I had. This is kind of an interesting fact. Most doctors in the U.S. only get three hours of training in menopause during their career, during their residency. So unless a doctor has, say, aged and hasn't retired or has their own personal issue with menopause or someone that they know, they probably haven't gone through that extra level of certification to become, you know, menopause specialist. And so I encourage people to go to menopause.org, which is a wonderful resource that has a find your clinician section. There you'll find doctors who have gone through the extra level of certification.

12:00 There are about 2,500 on the directory there. And if you can't find someone in your own geography, you can also look to telehealth options now, like EverNow, Alloy, MidiHealth, all great resources for finding a doctor virtually. And most of these are covered by insurance. That's an excellent tip. And for me to find an OBGYN who knew menopause, I just kind of asked around my friends, who do you like? Who do you know? Girlfriend medicine. But I love that. Menopause.org. Well, there's a good tip already. So there's so many ways we could go with talking about sleep. Let's just start with I have a podcast group for fans of the podcast on Facebook.

12:44 And I asked them, what would you want to ask if you got to interview our sleep person on the podcast? Okay, let's start with Becky. She wants to know, She's heard it's better to sleep in a cooler room, and I've heard that too. And she wonders, is that true and why is that? Yeah. So hi, Becky. Thank you for your question. Absolutely. It's recommended to keep your temperature in your room somewhere between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit. Personally, I like to kind of start at the higher end and schedule the drop in temperature somewhere around 1, 2 a.m. And then have the temperature kind of increase as the morning comes so I'm not freezing my whole family. And making them wear sweaters for breakfast. So I think it's important to just kind of think about more sleep hygiene in unison, right?

13:31 So you think about what you're putting into your body, the environment you're sleeping in, and what you're wearing on your person. So some of that includes, you know, you would think about your room, right? So we have a collection on our website at HotterJustMe of cooling blankets. We have temperature regulating pillowcases. We have cooling performance sheets. And these have natural fabrics, but also cooling technology that helps to kind of regulate your temperature as you sleep. And then you think about, okay, well, your room's set up. I used to be somebody that slept on one side of the bed, but in this time in life, I've now switched to the side of the bed where the air vent is so that I can be as close to the air as possible. And then, you know, added in some blackout curtains to the room.

14:13 Sometimes I'll wear a blackout eye mask, like what we have on the site as well. And then, you know, about the room itself, just making sure that, you know, it's conducive to a sleep environment. So that means, you know, that you aren't looking at blue light before bedtime, maybe ideally two hours before you go to sleep, which is easier said than done, especially in this day and age, but just making sure that the room is optimized for sleep. And then what you put in your body, right? So staying away from eating a heavy meal when it's bedtime, something light and healthy for bedtime, and then staying away from caffeine late at night or even in the afternoon. So maybe like a 1 p.m. Or 2 p.m. cutoff on your caffeine. And same thing for alcohol. Try to avoid drinking heavily at the end of the night.

14:55 For someone who used to work in the liquor industry, it's fun to kind of change tunes and say, now I've become a bit of a day drinker. That's what works for me. And then same thing about having earlier exercise routine versus later. And then, you know, what you take at night. So I'll take a magnesium supplement in the evening because if I take it in the morning, my body has absorbed it by the time it's bedtime. And then I think about also, you know, if I wake up in the middle of the night, what do I do? So I like to keep a glass of cold water by the bed or, you know, ice water. I'll also listen to a yoga nidra meditation to help me get back to sleep. It's on YouTube and it's free. It's just a really simple one. Or even if there's an app on Calm or Headspace that has some good meditations to get back to sleep.

15:41 Great, great tips. Let me see if I can go back and maybe emphasize some of those. The blackout curtains is interesting because I don't have blackout curtains in my bedroom, but I had heard it's really important that it be totally dark, pitch dark, totally dark. And I have an old-fashioned alarm clock next to my bed and so does my husband and we don't have blackout curtains and there's light coming from the outside and there's light coming from down the hall and I would get frustrated. Like, how am I ever gonna get rid of all this? And then I realized if I used a sleep mask, that would solve the problem. Yeah, that's a big one. And to your point, I'm someone who, when I travel, hotels seem to have all these tiny little lights everywhere, right, all the devices.

16:27 And so I'm notorious for just unplugging everything and putting like, you know, either tape like black tape that I'll travel with or just like, you know, some clothing on top of any of these little lights that seem to, you know, really get brighter when you're trying to have a good night's sleep in a new environment. Yeah. And I know it has something to do with telling your body that it's really night and it's time to sleep. Yeah, your circadian rhythms. Yeah. To kind of get your body knowing like now it's time for rest. And that's, I think, where the blue light comes in as well, not only because of the light, but it also activates your brain and gets you thinking about something in your to-do list versus just having that peaceful moment to just start to wind down.

17:08 You know, if you get those moments, I have a little journal and a pen by the bed as well. I'll just write down the thing instead of having to turn on my phone and make a note or something to myself and just say like, OK, it's out of my brain. It's in this paper and it'll get done when I wake up. That's a great tip, because sometimes if you think of something when you're falling asleep or when you're just waking up, it might be a good idea. Legitimately, I often think of good ideas at that point, but then you worry you're going to forget. So you write it down and you can honor it. So here you exist. You're now on paper. I will take care of you in the morning. That's a great idea. Absolutely. The other thing you mentioned is what to do when waking up during the night.

17:49 And that's something that Amy in the group was asking. So she said she wakes up in the middle of the night, but she doesn't feel like she needs to go to the bathroom. She doesn't feel hungry or thirsty, but she gets frustrated, of course. So what do you kind of advise on that? Yeah. So magnesium is a big one. That one definitely helped me. I mean, you know, as I've read in books, I like to recommend this wonderful book by Dr. Mary Claire Haver called The New Menopause that has a lot of these resources as well. But I think, yeah, just sleep hygiene. So it's almost preventative, right? So what can you do to optimize for a good night of sleep? That said, sometimes we do wake up, right? It could be hormone fluctuations. It could be a hot flash. It could be having to go to the bathroom or like you maybe drank too much water before bed.

18:32 So, so many things can contribute to that, that wake up, but you know, how do you get settled, right? So, you know, just calming your body, you know, making sure that you have some kind of routine around, okay, if I wake up, this is what I like to do. I'll listen to a sleep story. I'll listen to a meditation. You know, I'll just maybe have a sip of water if I'm thirsty and then just do a sleep scan or body scan to kind of calm your body down slowly. And then there are moments where you just might not go back to sleep, right? And so sometimes fighting it adds more stress. And so in some moments you might just need to succumb to like, okay, Maybe today's the night that I'm not going to get like that full night's sleep. And am I able to wake up? Am I able to be productive? And, you know, what impact will that have on my day? And so some days I think like, okay, well, you know what? It's not a high stress day.

19:17 Didn't have a great night of sleep. But I remember times when, you know, after my daughter was born, I was not sleeping well, but somehow I survived. And just, you know, not to be too hard on yourself, right? And just kind of power through it, do your best that you can and make sure that that night you get a good night's sleep. Yeah, that's a great point. sometimes fighting it is more stressful. Yeah. I want to come back to something you said, and that was a body scan. So I feel like maybe people would have heard that before, but maybe they wouldn't have. So tell us more what you mean by that. So it's basically, I like a specific YouTube video called Yoga Nidra by Ali. And it's basically just checking in with your body, right? Like relaxing.

19:57 You can start bottom up, top down. But as you're laying down, just think about relaxing your feet, relaxing your calves, relaxing the upper legs, your hips, your stomach, your shoulders, your arms. Your jaw is a big one. I tend to hold a lot of tension in my jaw. You're relaxing your eyes, relaxing your tongue, and then, you know, your forehead or your brow lines, like places where you feel like where you kind of naturally will hold your attention and just being aware that you might be from letting your body loosen up and just have that moment of relaxation. So sometimes just calling attention to it, like, am I, you know, clenching my fists or am I holding, you know, tension in my jaw right now? And just having someone asks you if you are or remind you to do so helps helps bring that concentration and that relaxation versus just you telling yourself relax relax it's like calm down so yeah just having having a very peaceful soothing third person tell you is a really beautiful way to do it that's what I thought you meant by body scan and I think that's really powerful and I actually do that pretty regularly I think I was in like third or fourth grade in a gym class, a PE class.

21:06 And we learned how to do that. And this was in the 70s. I know. It took me like 40 years to get there. Most of the class fell asleep while we were doing it too. We were like in the gym laying on mats and it was like, relax your feet, you know, let them feel like they're kind of, you can't even move them. They're so relaxed. And then your legs and then your hips and, you know, all the way up. And it really is powerful. And even learning like what are the, where do you typically carry your attention? Like, you know, when you might go for a massage, they'll say like, where do you hold your attention? And for some people it's your shoulders or, you know, your lower back. For me, it's definitely my jaw. And it's funny because like, learning things of just asking for what you want in life. And now when I go for a massage, I say, hey, this is going to sound weird, but can you start with my jaw?

21:57 Because if you do that, then my whole body will relax and this will be a lot easier for me than if I wait for the end for that moment where I finally get that like, you know, head or, you know, face massage part. Yeah, just learning what your triggers are, where you hold your attention and how to release those first. I'm fascinated right now because I actually have had TMJ and I have to sleep with a mouth guard and I grind my teeth a lot. So that's like tension in the jaw times a hundred. And I never thought of a massage being helpful for that at all. So I guess to wrap all of that up, if we are waking up, it's partly seeing whether we can kind of re-relax ourselves, but also maybe sometimes getting up if we really can't.

22:44 It might be that moment where you're maybe doing more harm than good, right? Like causing more anxiety or stress or tension for your day of being like too hard on yourself or just saying like, hey, is this a moment that I could be productive and just get whatever it is that's keeping you up out of the way. And maybe there's a sweet spot there of like, you know, it's the witching hour. There's nobody awake in your house and you just have that concentrated moment and look at it as maybe a benefit. And then know that that evening, just again, to be kind to yourself and go to bed a little earlier so you can catch up on some of the sleep that you didn't get. Yeah. But just try not to overcompensate with too much caffeine during the day, right? Like, because then you're almost like putting yourself up for a second night of poor sleep. And I'm guessing that you would not say to grab our phone.

23:27 I mean, if you're committed to saying like, okay, I know I'm going to be awake, then, you know, okay, then that's what you've committed to. But knowing that if you do, that you're kind of setting yourself up for getting your mind activated and putting yourself in work mode. And so, you know, it's not going to help you get back to sleep. If anything, you know, have some headphones by the bed and maybe listen to a sleep story or maybe a meditation. Maybe it's an audio book at a really slow speed that can maybe get you back to sleep. But once you kind of get that blue light going, you're kind of putting yourself in a wake up kind of frame of mind. Now, let's go back to something else you mentioned, and that was the sheets, the pillowcases, the fabrics. That was Karen's question, actually.

24:08 Is there something that is best for night sweats or for feeling comfortable at night? So tell us a little bit more about that. So we have a wonderful brand on our website called Lusome. It's female-founded brands. I always like to support female founders on the website. These are temperature-regulating sheets. They are 400 to bed count. They're made of cotton. But they have a dual-action cooling technology called Zerotech that helps to regulate your body temperature by up to five degrees. And so it helps maintain comfort throughout the night. So what that means is as your body is overheating, it will. Help to bring your body temperature down. The sheets are $300, but they do work, right? So you think of it as an investment in your sleep. If that's too high, I recommend for people to just start with their pillowcases, which are where a lot of people tend to get some of the feelings of the hot flashes and the night sweats.

24:57 We also have a cooling blanket that I like to use it just because it's smaller. So it's on my side of the bed. And so it's just my own blanket as opposed to having to share it with my husband. So those are all great options in terms of bedding. But then we also have a collection of nighties from a company called Become. And then Lusame also has a sleep shirt. So different styles, you know, depending on, you know, what your comfort level and if you want a sleep shirt or if you want more of a nightie with, you know, arms free or just something more racerback style so you get as much skin exposure. So those are all definitely, you know, sheet and sleepwear options that we carry. Okay. Yeah. And I can say every product on the site, when I say like, we have a cooling fan, I don't mean like we just have a bunch of cooling fans. I mean, I went out and bought 40 different fans and then tried them all out and said, okay, this one is too heavy, or this one catches your hair, or this one's too loud, or this one runs out of batteries.

25:46 So every single product is very well curated. And, you know, there's there are not a lot of different options. So it's not analysis paralysis, you can be confident that every product has been very well vetted. That's great. Yeah, because there there's so much out there. It's confusing. Even as you said, going to the doctor is confusing. They don't always know. So yes. So you also mentioned, besides caffeine, you also mentioned alcohol. And I know you used to have a liquor business, right? I'm the first woman in history to create a brand of Scotch whiskey. And I definitely wanted to bring a light and a new perspective to a category that was typically dominated by older white men.

26:28 And, you know, as a Hispanic woman, it definitely made a lot of waves in the industry and caught a lot of attention. And I was really fortunate to be able to use that as a platform to help bring light to minority entrepreneurs and how hard it is to fundraise as a minority entrepreneur. So I was really fortunate to use my brand as a platform to create a grant program. And to date, we've donated $350,000 in the form of $10,000 grants to small business owners. That are women and people of color. And it comes with mentorship. So I've been able to mentor 35 small businesses and help them grow and scale their businesses. And now with Hotter Just Me, I wanted to follow suit in terms of having a social cause with the business and North Star, if you will.

27:10 And so we've chosen two kind of pillars, one being period.org, which helps bring menstrual products to young girls that might not have access or financial means. And this has a huge impact on their schooling, their sports, their lives. And then on the same front, on the other end of the spectrum. Menopause at the workplace. So as we're aging in our workplace, what are employers doing to support women? You know, temperature regulating environments or mental health breaks, or if it's a uniform job, for example, what are the fabrics that we're wearing? You know, is there options for layering or alternatives for us? And so a lot to think about there. So in terms of alcohol, it's just sort of interesting because I still drink, you know, I'm not, it's not something I've cut out of my life.

27:55 It's just more about being a little bit more meaningful. You know, I'm not someone that can drink on an empty stomach anymore. I definitely need to have a lot of water or, you know, hydration as I'm drinking. And, you know, I've learned that, you know, that wine at the end of the night will keep me up. Right. So, you know, what is it that I can do. Okay, I can start earlier or, you know, just kind of stop drinking at a certain point or just limit my alcohol according to if I'm having a lot of other symptoms. I always hear that if you have more than one or two drinks, forget the sleep, you know, it's going to keep you up. And that's probably not true every single time, but it's definitely true sometimes. I mean, metabolism changes our tolerance even, right, as we age.

28:37 And so, you know, that's for men and women, but definitely just kind of saying, like, if you're already having disrupted sleep, that could definitely be something that you can look into and maybe even track it, right? It might not have an impact for you, but if you're noticing a pattern, just to kind of be aware of that pattern. And I'm thinking about sort of a theme to everything that we've been talking about today, and maybe that theme is at this stage in life, we need to just take care of ourselves more carefully. And, you know, like we're just saying, have the appropriate sleeping environment and eat and drink the appropriate things at the appropriate time. And it's beyond just sleep, right? It's all self-care. You know, what's the food that we're putting in our bodies now?

29:17 This is our vessel, right? This is our car for this drive and this journey in life. So are we putting good fuel into it? Are we getting enough sleep and rest? Are we, you know, exercising and, you know, getting our endorphins going and taking care of, you know, strength training for muscle health and bone health. Are we taking the right supplements that we need? So just kind of having a like a multi-pronged approach to health and wellness. But, you know, self-care is a big one. You know, we might need more therapy or more meditation or just more moments of peace, journaling, whatever that is for you at this stage in life to be able to refill your tanks because, you know, we do so much. And so it's important to just kind of take that step and say, like, am I getting enough? Am I taking care of myself?

30:02 Because we take care of so many others. And from a mindset perspective. I would encourage people to make sure that you're thinking about it in the way that we're talking about it right now, as in I want to take really good care of my body and I have I'm asking so much of it and not more down into I'm falling apart. You know, sometimes I think our self-talk kind of goes in the wrong direction a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, just to be kind to ourselves, there's going to be, you know, moments where you feel like, you know, I'm going crazy or I'm so frustrated or, you know, I'm exhausted and just listening to that message and saying, OK, well, like recognize it. Don't like, you know, give it the attention that it deserves and then figure out, OK, what do I need to to get back to normal and, you know, and ask for that and make time for it. Very good point.

30:48 OK, so you have given us a lot of interesting information. So tell us how can people find you and find your website? Yeah. So the website link, Hot or Just Me, can be found in the show notes. And we have discount code 10% of your order if you use the code MindYourMidlife. And we can also be found on all socials at Hot or Just Me. Hot or Just Me. I love it. I'm sure I have said that before. So we've given so many pieces of advice if you could kind of wrap that into one i like to call it the omg moment one thing that is the most important for somebody listening to this to remember what would you say i think the biggest thing is that you're not alone you know during this time in life you know you're thinking am i going crazy is this normal why is this happening and you start to kind of reach out to your girlfriends and it's like kind of like check notes or compare notes.

31:44 And then, you know, you talk to your doctor and they might not have the information for you. So I think we just spin out in our heads. And the biggest thing is just to realize that this is coming for all of us. And in some way, shape or form, some, you know, some symptoms higher than others, for some people a lot faster than others for different reasons, but just realize that this is all happening to us and that it's 100% normal and that we're not alone. Fantastic. Fantastic way to end. And yeah, I think sometimes we do sort of feel like we're a bit isolated and alone, but we are not. Thank you for joining me today. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you, Cheryl. Oh, my goodness. You are not alone. I love that OMG moment. Save this episode, go back, listen to her tips about what we do before we're going to sleep, what type of environment we want, and if you're asking yourself why, why is this happening to me, we talked about that too, about some of the different variables that might be going on, and now maybe you have enough information that you feel confident to go to a medical professional and talk to them further and really kind of dig into that.

32:53 So grab the link in the show notes for Hotter Just Me and remember your 10% discount code. You can also go to CherylPFisher.com slash recommendations and you'll see it there anytime. And make sure that you've hit the follow button because in next week's episode, I'm going to ask you, how old do you look? And we're going to talk about how the number really doesn't have anything to do with anything. And you get to decide how you feel, what you do, how you look. It's not about the number. So I'll see you then. And in the meantime, oh my goodness, let's keep creating confidence.

33:35 Music.