Ep. 88: What No One Tells You About Estate Planning in Midlife, with Andrea Bryk

Cheryl Fischer 0:00

OMG, hello my friends. I am excited to be with you today. And we are going to have a conversation that is going to be more fun and interesting than you might think if you've read the title of this episode. What if there are things we never had the opportunity to learn? We've all been to school or training, but there are things they never taught us that actually make a powerful difference in life. I'm here to share with you all the pieces you've been missing: mindset, health, success, and more. And we'll all learn together from guests along the way. We may not have learned it the traditional way, but oh my goodness, let's keep learning how to do things differently. We are talking today about estate planning. And you're gonna hear me say this to Andrea in a few minutes, but I really think this is one of those topics that we avoid and we do that to our detriment. And especially if you're like me and you're in midlife and some of these sort of end-of-life questions and issues are creeping in, whether it's your parents or yourself. It's something that if we actually get past the uncomfortable parts and take care of it, it really makes everything better for us and for other people. So that is why I'm excited to talk about this. And my guest today, Andrea Bryk, is a Virginia attorney. She's based in the city of Fairfax. She is an estate planning attorney, and that means she helps people prepare trusts, powers of attorney, wills, advanced medical directives, and she loves to work with families, small business owners, military and first responders. She is a transplant from the Midwest, has two teenage kids and two lovable mutts. I love that. And Andrea says when she hit her 50s, she decided to keep up with her teens on a mountain bike. She failed and purchased an e-mountain bike. So love that too. So welcome, Andrea. I'm glad you're here. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. So the way we're gonna start is to just lean into this OMG Teach Me idea. Tell us something that you wish you had learned in school.

Andrea Bryk 2:21

You know, I was thinking about this question, and it's well, golly, do you mean like elementary, middle, and high school? So many things I wish I'd learned. Or does it mean college, which I wasn't prepared to go to and probably should have had a like work study year in between. When I got out of college, I here's what I wish someone would have really emphasized to me that when you're living with your parents and you head off to college, they've had 20 to 25 years, sometimes more, to go from the bottom of the economic barrel as graduates themselves up to this level. And in my household, they just boop, you kicked me right out. Uh, giddy up and have some fun, you know, looking for dimes in the couch so you can pay for ice cream. And so it was a bit of a shock that A, I hadn't ever figured that out on my own. I don't know why. But um, then B, when I was like, that wasn't very nice. So with my own kids, I'm working really hard to educate them, help them understand things they can do now that will make the transition less shocking. How's that?

Cheryl Fischer 3:27

What I absolutely love that answer. And it is fascinating because I kind of just went boop out of my own after college as well, plus paying for grad school and living on loans and all that stuff. All those things. Yeah. And my kids are that age now. And it's interesting that I think maybe we always remember our parents in their most recent form, which is usually doing pretty well at that point, right?

Andrea Bryk 3:49

That's right. That's right. Where we hope they're doing pretty well now that I'm at this age and my kids are coming up on that age. We talk about the sandwich generation. I'm looking at my parents thinking, good golly, guys, I hope you've got a lot more in the bank.

Cheryl Fischer 4:05

Yeah. Well, I this is the perfect way to get into our discussion, actually. That's exactly what I was thinking because many people don't. Uh, and listeners, I don't know if you know this. I'm sure that Andrea, you know this, but I know it's at least more than half of people have nowhere near enough money to retire. I don't know what the exact statistic is, but it's it's a rough one. So let's talk about that phase of life. This is one of those topics that I think we tend to avoid talking about. And I, having met you before, knew that you would be a great person to have on, even though this is a topic we tend to avoid, because I love the way you present the information and we can have kind of a fun discussion about it. So estate planning, why is this so important, even though we'd love to avoid it?

Andrea Bryk 4:54

Okay, but first we have to talk about what is an estate because half of the time when I meet somebody new and they ask me what I do, and I say I'm an estate planning attorney, they say, Oh, I don't need to worry about that. I don't have an estate. And my response is, but you're wearing clothes, and clearly you're over 18, or you wouldn't be at this event. So you do have an estate. The definition of estate in legal planning terms means you're over the age of 18, and it's every single thing that you own, not just your bank accounts or 50 acres out in Fawkir County. No, you're wearing shoes and pants, and that might be the equivalent of your estate. So, estate is everything you own: your phone, the computer, the car, the bank accounts, the retirement accounts, the life insurance accounts, the all of it. So, people don't want to talk about it because one, they use the excuse that they don't have enough. And if they think they don't have enough, I'm gonna say you don't have enough not to, right? But they also think that it really means just death and dying. And estate planning includes that piece, but that's half, right? Or less, right? While you're alive, you are accumulating your estate as you age and invest and save and work, you acquire more things. All of this is your estate. And while you're alive, you want to protect it, right? From the what if? The what if I have the car crash on Interstate 66? The what if I fall down and break my hip? The what if my mom falls down and breaks her hip and I have to go live there for eight months while she rehooped rehabilitates? What about all my things? What about what about my small business? What about the roof and remodel we were doing? It's all of the whatabouts. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. That is the reason why you should sit down with an estate planning attorney.

Cheryl Fischer 6:50

You know, it's I I like a couple of things that you said because when I always thought about estate planning, I thought about a will. And what am I going to leave things to? That's the death and dying part. But what you're saying, and I just want to say it again to emphasize, is it's a lot about right now right now, right now, maybe right now, but while we're living, what's happening when things maybe don't go as we planned, right?

Andrea Bryk 7:15

Correct. And a lot of people, I mean, what do you know about the estate planning process unless you've dealt with a sick and dying person and you've been through that piece where there was no estate plan, or we saw it on TV and in a movie. And probably the reading of the will in the lawyer's office where we find out who gets grandma's piano. And that's just like this much of it.

Cheryl Fischer 7:42

Yeah. Good point. So for those of us who are saying, Oh, I guess maybe I have no idea what estate planning really is. Can you give us kind of a primer?

Andrea Bryk 7:56

Sure. I would love to. So while you're alive, we need to protect all of your assets. And you're one of those assets, right? So we all need to have general, durable powers of attorney. A general durable power of attorney is a document that lives while you're alive. It expires when you do, but in it, you are giving another person and ideally some backup people, the power to step into your shoes and be you if for some reason you're not there to be you, right? Could they go to the bank? Could they reach out to your life insurance company? They could do all those things. They could pick up your kid at school if they had to. They can make sure your employees get paid at your business, right? If you include all the right terms, but you need something for that just in case something happens, right? Same goes for a healthcare power of attorney. What if I can't be answering questions about my own healthcare? Two great, three great cases in point are uh dental surgery with anesthesia, colonoscopy, which we all over 50 now have to have, and um, oh, I just lost the other one. But the idea is I'm under. Let's not wake me up and ask me if you can biopsy that polyp. I want someone in the waiting room with authority to be able to do it for me. And the thing about healthcare powers of attorney that I think are so fascinating is if you don't have one, our statute tells the provider uh a list of people of priority that you would go to and ask. So if you're not married and you want your partner to be the one answering the questions, you better have an effective healthcare power of attorney because in Virginia, your partner has no standing in the law. How do we define that? How would we say who it is? So who are they going to go to? Uh, your parents first. Right. So what if you don't want them going to your parents?

Cheryl Fischer 9:57

Right. Okay.

Andrea Bryk 9:58

Same with you, same with your teenager who's just graduated from high school and is headed off to UVA next year. Do you want to make sure that the healthcare providers call you mom and dad? Then your child needs a healthcare power of attorney. Wow. If they don't have one, that hospital probably shouldn't be calling you unless there were some other permissions, et cetera. I also think during your lifetime, and this one would go till after your lifetime, just a little bit, but we all need a big generic medical records privacy authorization. How many times do you go into the doctor? You just sign in the paperwork, you're like, yeah, they can have access to my record. Who did you just give access to? Your spouse, a child, a friend? No, because you didn't put anybody's name down. Right? So, in a generic HIPAA waiver, we can take it to any medical office. It lists the people already that you want to be able to walk in there and get a hard copy of your file and walk out with. And it's good for two years after your death because what if there's an accident? The instant the online medical file realizes that you've passed away, they shut down access, unless you have that kind of a document, ensuring that you still have access after their death. And of course, in every state, we need to have our living will, which is sometimes known as an advanced healthcare or advanced medical directive. That's the kind of gruesome one a lot of people don't want to talk about. It is not a do not resuscitate order. The living will deals with the Terry Schibo situation from the 80s, which is a poor young woman had a heart attack, was brain dead, and for seven years her parents litigated against her husband to see if they could pull the plug. Husband said, She doesn't want to live in this permanent brain dead state. And her parents said, But maybe there's a chance. And they litigated for seven years. So now every state has a law permitting a person like Terry to be able to say in writing, if I'm ever in that situation, here's what I would want to have happen. Right. So to be clear, and I always have to explain this to people, we're talking about extreme end of life and knock on wood, praise the Lord. Hopefully, none of us are ever in that situation, but just in case. And that's what a lot of estate planning is about is handling just in case situations.

Cheryl Fischer 12:27

Yeah. I think that last one, you're right, that's the one we probably avoid because we don't want to think something like that will happen to us. We don't want to think about it. Like maybe if I put it on paper, then it's actually gonna happen. Which listeners, let me tell you, that is not how things work. Put it on paper. And then it's like carrying an umbrella in case it rains. When you carry the umbrella, it probably isn't gonna rain. Do that.

Andrea Bryk 12:50

Well, so not only that, but let me say this I'll have a prospective client or a client say to me, Oh, I'm gonna let my kids decide. And I said, No, you're not. You're not doing that to them. Good point. Putting your children in that position to have to decide. And then what if they argue? I mean, A, they are grieving for you. B, they really wish you would have communicated your wishes so that the decision was easy. And now, because you didn't make a decision, you kick the can down the block, they're gonna argue. The one thing most parents want is for their kids to get along and have, you know, holidays together and become friends. Nothing ends that friendship quicker than an argument about caring for a parent and money.

Cheryl Fischer 13:36

Oh my goodness, you're speaking my language. It's it's not exactly the same situation. But my sister and I have recently sold my mom's house. She's in assisted living, she's not going to be leaving assisted living. And both of us during that process said, thankfully, we had all the paperwork we needed, knock on wood. But we said to each other in that process, we have got to clean out our own homes because we are not leaving this for our kids to deal with. And we were just talking about stuff in the closets, you know, but same kind of situation for sure.

Andrea Bryk 14:08

Right, right. You know, the other thing is um, this is I I want people to do that clean out. It's sometimes referred as the Swedish death cleaning.

Cheryl Fischer 14:18

Oh my.

Andrea Bryk 14:19

I know, I know, but really what it is is you it's your stuff, your belongings, your things. They're special to you. And more than likely, they're not going to be special to anybody else, which is the sort of hard truth. But the idea is clean it out now while you can enjoy giving it to someone and you know they have time to enjoy it because the worst is when you realize somebody's life and their joys and heartaches are coming down to black trash bags on the corner waiting for pickup.

Cheryl Fischer 14:51

Yeah. Right?

Andrea Bryk 14:52

It doesn't have to be that way.

Cheryl Fischer 14:54

Yeah, fully, fully, fully agree. Yeah. Okay.

Andrea Bryk 14:58

So at my house, we, you know, we have a big holiday market at our church. And so we, the kids, we all do that big clean out. You know, sometimes we have to look at that t-shirt from summer camp and say, Thank you. You don't fit me anymore. And I love what you did for me. And I had so much fun at that summer camp, but I'm gonna let someone else wear that t-shirt, right? Yeah, or you know, I love those sequin pants, but that time is long gone. I'm gonna give it to my teenage niece, you know, or whatever, right? And pictures and videos, the time to start sharing them is right now, right?

Cheryl Fischer 15:37

Yes, and take pictures of them, put them in a digital frame. Yes, agree, agree, agree. Absolutely.

Andrea Bryk 15:42

Well, yeah, until you're like, yeah, okay, thanks. I relived it. That's good.

Cheryl Fischer 15:46

Yeah.

Andrea Bryk 15:47

Now I can go, right? And I want people to do that while they can still enjoy it, as opposed to when they're upset. And really what they need is time and space, and we can't give it to them because they're under duress to take care of some type of business piece.

Cheryl Fischer 16:03

Such a good point. So let's kind of continue this segue. People who have aging parents, and we're we're thinking about you explained really well the documents that we need, which thankfully I did have for my mom. But people who have aging parents, do you have any particular tips for them that they should be thinking about or talking to their parents about or doing now?

Andrea Bryk 16:24

Number one is to have your parents put their estate plan in place now. There is when it's too late, you are now in crisis, and crisis planning is expensive and difficult and painful, right? So before mom gets dementia or before like it's gone too long, that's when you want to do these things. When you can talk about it and make good decisions about here's what I would want to have happen. And I better get this stuff put in place for just in case. Because when it's too late, it's too late, probably to work with an attorney, right? At that point, if it really is too late, you might need to go to a court and ask for guardianship of that person. If you don't have to do that, you don't want to do that. What if all it really would have taken was let's sit down and have a talk about this? Because I want to make sure retirement is fun, old age is hard and expensive. So, mom and dad, before you hit old age, let's take care of these things so that in your old age, you can be comfortable and independent, right? That's mostly what they want. I want to be comfortable and I want to be independent. The best way to do that is make sure that all of their little just in cases are resolved.

Cheryl Fischer 17:42

I love that because that's kind of a slightly happier way to talk about it. Because it is hard to sit down with your parents and say, okay, we need to talk about what's going to happen when you can't take care of yourselves anymore. Like nobody wants to hear that, you know?

Andrea Bryk 17:56

No, no, they don't. But I like my clients, if they're gonna have this conversation with mom and dad, to look at it from that perspective, right? The perspective that says, listen, we're all gonna get old. And while you can still make choices, I want you to think about what you'd want. We can change it probably later, but let's make sure that you've actually communicated that to someone you trust. And oh my goodness, kids for your parents. If it's not me, don't worry about it. I want to know who it is you've selected. I might have questions. And you know what? We've been living, you're in Chicago, I'm in Minneapolis, I don't see you every day. I don't know these things about you.

Cheryl Fischer 18:37

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Andrea Bryk 19:28

And instead of me, the child, layering onto a parent what I think is important, I want to make sure I understand what you think is important. My mom told us recently that she doesn't want to be cremated, she wants to be buried in a casket and she wants all of her stash yarn in the casket with her. Oh. So she'll be flammable. That's all I want to say, right? I mean, oh my goodness. My dad says when I'm in the home, and by home he means skilled nursing facility, when you're, you know, now you're down. To a gown or very cozy clothes. He's like, I need all my gowns starched, just like my shirts, my whole life. Oh, you know, something that simple that actually makes you comfortable, good to know. Yeah, it would occur to me. You know, and that's just the little stuff.

Cheryl Fischer 20:15

Yeah. Yeah. So true. So true. It's a hard conversation to have, but it really, it really helps. I I like that perspective. Okay. So when we were talking earlier, you mentioned to me that there's one document that everybody really should have. And it and it is kind of the key overarching document. And so tell us what is that and why?

Andrea Bryk 20:39

It's the revocable living trust. Okay. So there are a gabillion different types of trusts that could be created. The big one that implies in most situations, right? I have to be general, right? Is the revocable living trust. So let me tell you how it works. Because if you don't have a trust and you have assets, certain types of assets outside of trust, they might have to go through the probate process. And probate is the process by which the court has oversight over the bringing together and then the distribution of a person's assets after their death. Depends on what the asset is, depends on how much they are. But whether you have a will or you don't have a will, assets will get probated. So it's like you carry everything around in your back on a backpack, you expire and go poof, the backpack falls on the ground. Everything spills out, right? Like a teenage girl's purse at the prompt. Everything is spilled out. And the court's job is to stick it all back in and help somebody then account for it and distribute it. That process is very lengthy in all states. It requires a lot of paperwork. And it should be simple and it never is, right? Hopefully, our commissioner of accounts isn't listening to me say this, but it's it's true. Why would someone want to go through that if they don't have to? What if you could take the backpack and stick it in a wagon? And during your lifetime, right, instead of carrying your assets around in a backpack, you're just pulling a wagon. They're your assets and you put them in there. But now this wagon, if you die, all that happens is the handle falls down. And you've already explained who you want to pick up the handle afterwards, after you've passed. And there's a set of instructions that say, in case of death, open here and distribute accordingly bypassing the probate process. Why? Because the wagon didn't fall over. The wagon doesn't die just because you do. And so during your lifetime, you can put all your assets, most of them, into the trust. Say who gets them when something happens to you. And after you pass, your successor trustee has to distribute them according to your instructions bypassing the probate. That's private. Probate is public. And I and I say to people, listen, maybe we could get most of your assets to pass outside of probate. But but probate still involves listing your heirs by name and address by listing those assets that are going through probate by institution, type of account, and amount, right? And at the end, when we do the accounting, so we know how much you're getting, because we have published the will, right? A person could walk in and see that you're getting 50% of mom's assets. Oh, there was $200,000 in that fidelity account and it's coming to her right for the picking. And it's that kind of thing that really happens that I want people to avoid.

Cheryl Fischer 23:34

You know, I'm so glad we're talking about this because this is the part of this conversation that I was totally clueless about. And I had a taste about a year and a half ago, an extended family member passed away. And his surviving spouse asked us for our address, and there was something about the will. And we were like, okay, we don't know what that is, but we'll send it. And then a year went by. And then we heard, okay, here's what was left, although nothing happens until she's not here either. Whatever the details don't matter. But the a year went by. And so it must have been probate. And I had no idea that's how that's how Wills worked. Because as you said at the beginning, I was imagining where you go to the lawyer's office and everybody sits around a big table, like on TV, and then that's it, you know? Yep. That's right.

Andrea Bryk 24:28

No, that's not what happens anymore. You know, and there's a lot of things people can do on their own, right? People with minor children, before you even sit down with an attorney to talk about creating estate planning, uh, you know, a package uh that is your estate plan and how they all come together, before you sit down with them, you can do some work right now and figure out who would we want to have take care of our kids, right? Right. Uh, and what if that person lives five states away? Who could the babysitter call in the middle of the night and say, I need you to come get these kids? You could start thinking about, oh my gosh, if if it's not my spouse who's my backup, right? Because what if my spouse goes before me? Who could back me up? Right. I mean, in the Washington, DC metropolitan area, we have a struggle in that most people who live here, this is a big stereotype, but they're transplants. We're not natives, right? Where is our family? Far away. And so even if that's the case, having an estate plan means asking a friend, a coworker, your accountant, the nurse lady at your book club. There are lots of different people who could act for you in an emergency situation if you really sat down and thought about it, or at least temporarily while we get that family member here to come in and step in and do the other things. And I, that's the one thing that could be the hugest hurdle is well, who would we ask?

Cheryl Fischer 25:58

Right.

Andrea Bryk 25:58

And it, you know, it really requires some thinking sometimes.

Cheryl Fischer 26:01

And it's hard because you don't want to think about you not being here and your kids having to go live with someone else. And I went through this when my kids were young for sure. But if we don't do that, oh my goodness, you know, what's gonna happen? Yeah.

Andrea Bryk 26:13

I don't want my kids going into child protective custody while they mourn me and my husband while they wait the six weeks for a judge to decide who could be their guardian. No, no, no, no, no, no. I would much rather step in and make that decision.

Cheryl Fischer 26:28

Right. Right. So, one other question about a trust, because many, many years ago, when we made our wills, my husband and I being the we, we uh said that there was going to be a trust for the kids. And it feels like that's not the same thing as what you're talking about.

Andrea Bryk 26:45

No, minor children, right, they can't own anything until they're 18. You, as their parent, own their shirt and pants, right? And when they're 18, it becomes theirs. So they can't hold the monies. So, what that will did was it created at your death, it would create a subtrust for the benefit of that child until they turned whatever age you decided. If you do nothing, it's 18. You wrote that trust, it probably was something more along the lines of 25. Not that I want a 25-year-old right now, or most of them that I know, to come into half a million dollars. I want there to be some curves on it. Um, and so some people do think it's easier to set all that up uh as they write their own trust. So, so one of the things to think about too is golly, how how do I want to distribute my assets? Like when I really think about it, what does that look like? Right. And when you sit down with the estate planning attorney, they're not going to help you with your finances per se. They're gonna introduce you to some financial planners if you don't already have one in your life. And if you're one of my clients, I'm gonna introduce you to a tax strategy CPA as well, because I want you to have that lovely trifecta. If you own a business, I want you to also have a business attorney and the four of us will work together with you. But the estate planning attorney is gonna be able to look at your assets and say, Have you thought about this? Have you thought about this? Did you realize that the million dollars you have in your 401k when it goes to your spouse might only be $600,000 because they'll have to pay taxes? Right. Like, oh, we don't have long-term care insurance. Should we talk about what long-term care planning looks like when we don't have insurance? Like, we can talk you through some of those things. And then at least with my firm, I like to bring in um the other experts to talk about these other things.

Cheryl Fischer 28:39

Such a good point. So I and I was getting ready to ask you if someone's listening to this now and thinking, oh, uh, I have a lot to do. Where should they get started? And I feel like you're kind of answering that, but tell me exactly where should someone get started if they haven't done this.

Andrea Bryk 28:56

So, what I like to do is start with a consult. I just want someone to call me and put 45 minutes on my calendar. I'm not gonna charge you. I want you to understand what this is all about. If you want to work with me, great. If you want to work with someone else, that's fine. You have a choice of attorney, always, always, always. But I want them to put 45 minutes on my calendar and I want us to talk about this. I want them to do some data intake so I can see what they have. Do they have five homes or do they just have one? Right. Uh, do they have 12 kids, 10 cats? Like, what are you, what are you, what is you? Let's get to know that and talk about how estate planning might work for you, right? What are the different pieces that would make sense to put into your estate plan?

Cheryl Fischer 29:38

I like that. And I actually love the wagon concept. That is really gonna stick with me. And I think that means it'll stick with other people as well. That if I drop the handle of the wagon, somebody else can pick it up. What a great, great concept that makes me realize that I have a bit of work to do in this area too. So thank you for that. Now, if somebody is thinking, hmm, I liked what she was saying. I'm in the DC, Virginia area, and they're wanting to reach out and connect with you. How can they do that?

Andrea Bryk 30:14

I had a lovely lady build a website that gives people lots of flexibility. So I would love to talk to anyone and they can reach me at www.bryklaw.com. It's br yklaw.com and schedule a consult with me. It's that simple. That's all it takes. Perfect. And and then you're started. Do they need to be in Virginia or what areas? I am a Virginia licensed attorney. I have of counsel relationships with other attorneys. So for starters, we can talk. And if I need to refer you someplace else, I would do that. Excellent.

Cheryl Fischer 30:48

Excellent. Love it. Okay. So is there anything else that you think we might have missed or just kind of the key concept you want somebody to remember from this conversation?

Andrea Bryk 31:00

I want them to remember no time like the present. And it's not as hard as they think it is. And if they start working with an attorney or they're doing it themselves, which happens a lot, and they come to a hurdle, I would want them to reach out. Because if you come to a hurdle or you're not moving forward for some reason, an estate planning attorney is going to be able to get you over that hurdle and keep you moving because the worst thing to have happen is to do nothing at all or try to do it too late.

Cheryl Fischer 31:28

Yeah. Yeah. And I just really, really, really see that having to help people who are going through some of these life transitions right now. So yeah, the the easier we can make it for ourselves and the people around us who might have to deal with some of these things, the better. Right.

Andrea Bryk 31:44

Right. Listen, I just dealt with a family whose parent died. And like most parents, uh had two children, decided these two brothers could uh be co-executors. So one lived in Virginia and the other Maryland, and they both had to wet ink signature every document submitted to the court. So just imagine how that worked out. Very difficult, very time consuming. Driving from Virginia to Maryland and back with paperwork. Mom had a trust, but when dad died, she didn't do anything. And there were four accounts that never made it into the trust. And it's taken over 18 months and they're still not done, right? Wow. Four accounts. So if you can avoid all of that and listen, child, I'm giving you the joy of my estate plan as a present. You know, I think that's wonderful.

Cheryl Fischer 32:35

Yeah, I agree. I fully agree. We're we're helping other people in this way. And it doesn't mean anything bad is gonna happen. It just means everything's gonna be easier. Well, if something bad does happen, you're set.

Andrea Bryk 32:48

Right? You're set. The person I want helping me out is in line and ready. I've already identified them. They've got everything they need to be able to go to the bank and make sure that my hospital bill is paid for me. I'm you're set, right?

Cheryl Fischer 33:04

Yeah.

Andrea Bryk 33:04

So I think that's important.

Cheryl Fischer 33:06

I do too. And I uh now that I'm thinking about this, like carrying an umbrella and hoping it doesn't rain, I'm like, okay, I'm on board. I'm on board. Let me let me get my ducks in a row and hope it doesn't rain. You know, I like that. All right. Well, thank you, Andrea, for going through that with us. I know this is going to be impactful for people because I know there are a lot of us out there who either have no idea or just are avoiding it. So I appreciate that very much. And now we're gonna switch gears because my last question is a song that I will add to our nostalgia playlist on Spotify and Amazon Music, which hopefully I will remember to put the links to in the show notes. Uh, I will add this song for you. So tell us a song that has good memories attached to it or a feeling of nostalgia.

Andrea Bryk 33:57

Okay, so it's so dumb, right? But it's Matthew Wilder's Break My Stride. And now you hear it on the commercial with John Cena and his wipe out show. And I won't even try to sing it because it just gets in my head. And I, you know, I'm one of those people that dreams in technicolor with smells and all the things. And so that there's even a song that talks about that just makes me happy. Oh my gosh. It's got a good beat. You can you can mom shuffle to it if you want to. How about that? I guess that's what I do.

Cheryl Fischer 34:29

I mom shuffle. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Matthew Wilder's Break My Stride. Okay. Well, Andrea, thank you so much for joining me today. As I said, this is going to be really helpful. I know it will be. And I had fun talking to you. And on this topic, that's even better. So thank you.

Andrea Bryk 34:46

I know, right? Thank you for having me, Cheryl. This was great. I love to get a talk about this so that it's not a scary process for people. Love it. Thank you.

Cheryl Fischer 34:55

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. OMG. Make sure to follow OMG Teach Me in your favorite podcast app so you get all the goodies. And if you're just finding this podcast and you're kind of wondering where to start, I have a curated mini series for you to help you stop self sabotaging because we all do it. So head over to www.omgteachme.com and sign up when you get the pop up box. We may not have learned all these things in school, but they sure are powerful now.