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I will eat my hat if you have not heard the saying laughter is the best medicine.
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And I'm already chuckling at myself because it's kind of silly how often I say I will eat my hat.
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Number one, that's kind of a ridiculous saying and it's old.
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And number two, I don't even wear hats.
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I don't think they look good on me.
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Anyway, laughter is so, so, so powerful.
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It changes the biochemistry in our body.
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I am going to link in the show notes the episode I did with Kathy Nesbitt about laughter yoga.
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With Kathy Nesbitt about laughter yoga, and now we're kind of taking it a different way because we tell ourselves too often that we aren't that funny or that we could never make it.
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But anybody could be funny.
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So let's talk about it.
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Welcome to Mind your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success.
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One thought at a time, unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life or feel truly confident in your body.
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Each week you'll gain actionable strategies and oh my goodness, powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife.
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This is the Mind your Midlife podcast.
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You are in your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, somewhere around that range most likely, and you are in a period of life where there's a lot of change, and maybe one of the things that has been on your mind during all this change is that you wonder if you could be funny, and maybe you mean it in the sense that you'd love to be funny with your friends, or maybe you mean it in a sense that you'd love to be a comedian or you'd love to write funny things or you'd love to be on social with comedy, and you just always thought about it and you just always thought about it.
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Well, now might be exactly the right time Now for me.
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I was always shy and I still have aspects of this, and it's interesting because unless people have experienced the same thing I have, they generally don't believe me.
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When I say this, I'm being completely, 100% honest.
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As a kid, I was very shy, one on one, and I was kind of always looking for a group, because I'm also an extrovert and I get energy from people Strange combo maybe, or unusual combo maybe, or unusual combo, I don't know.
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Now, as you might guess, I have absolutely no qualms talking to a group, training a group.
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I do that a lot in my personal and professional life.
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I'm absolutely cool with large groups, but I still get shy one-on-one sometimes and unfortunately and you'll know this if you're similar sometimes it comes across as being maybe not friendly, and I never want that to be the case.
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So one of the things that was suggested to me at one point to help me come out of my shell was to do an improv class or to learn more about comedy, and I really, really love the idea of making people laugh and gosh.
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I'd love for my friends to weigh in and my family and tell me if this is true.
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But I think I do make people laugh.
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I love to laugh.
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I know how healthy it is and if healthy plus fun, I mean, come on, how many things are healthy and fun.
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But I also don't want to be self-deprecating all the time.
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That's not good for our mindset.
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We've discussed that for sure in previous episodes.
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So I want to learn more about how does this actually work and how might you be able to dip a toe or jump all the way in to being funny?
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And so my guest today is Lynn Harris.
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She is the founder of Gold Comedy.
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Gold Comedy is a comedy school, professional network and content studio where women and really everyone can grow a comedy career, can come up with kind of a creative side hustle and can build a powerful community based around laughter and being funny.
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What a cool idea.
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Lynn founded Gold Comedy.
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Lynn learned when she was a teenager how funny she could be and also realized she was often the only woman actually doing comedy in whatever scenario she was in, and so she wanted to change that for the rest of us.
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Welcome, lynn.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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Okay, is it possible, in your opinion, for anybody who's listening to learn to be funny?
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I don't know if they're wanting to do stand-up or they just want to be a funny person.
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Is it really possible for anybody to do that?
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Yes, and I'll go on, but like full stop.
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Everyone has different styles, everyone has different and, yes, of course, everyone has different kind of ingrained skills.
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You know, like some people are more intuitive cooks than others.
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You know some people are more intuitive athletes than others, or with particular sports or music or whatever it is.
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So of course there's a range of you know how easily something comes to you.
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We all have that with everything we do in our lives.
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But no one can get good at comedy without working at it.
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No one, not one person.
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Seinfeld's work ethic is famous.
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Yes, correct, no one, there is.
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No, there is no such thing.
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And the other and this is related, but not the same People like to say that an overnight success takes about 10 years.
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So, yeah, so it all involves work, will it?
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Will some of that work feel harder to some than others?
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Yes, but if you have the right instructor who's really?
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Or the right, just whatever if you're in the right environment where the people around you inspire you to like be, you know, kind of make you funnier, you know, like, if you have really funny college friends, you get funnier, you know, yeah, yeah.
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Or if your instructor is really skilled at um, helping you kind of uncover your natural persona, like who your persona is on stage, which is generally just kind of 1.3 times who you already are.
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There are some exceptions, but it's generally you.
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And if that same person can help you really mine your own life for material, that's not funny on its face but has comedy available in it.
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It's not about the wacky thing that happened to you or making fun of other people, it's like what is the sort of normal but normal but multidimensional stuff in your life that actually is fodder for comedy.
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If there's someone who can help you kind of, who can mirror it back to you and help you sort of figure out what's funny about it to you and then apply kind of universal joke mechanics, then, yes, everyone can come out with some comedy, everybody.
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And then what comes next is you know what are your goals and how hard do you, how hard are you interested in working for them?
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If you're interested in just having fun, then that's great, and if you're, if you're interested in really and really working on it, then you can and you should.
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Yeah, we have a couple of people like who kind of?
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We have one woman in our in um who's a member of gold in our community, who's a retired, retired high school art teacher and a retired also a retired firefighter, which I didn't know about her till the other night.
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I was like rocky, why didn't you it?
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Like she did a bit about it and I was like how, how did I not anyway?
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She?
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Just she had.
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She was one of those I've always wanted to try it people who now is doing comedy all over north.
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She's from north carolina, all over north Carolina and it's now has been working so hard that she's coming to New York for two to do two solo shows of her own in September.
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So she's like this is her new, this is her new thing.
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Her post retirement not hobby, but like thing, it's her thing.
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She's doing it and for real she is a comedian.
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So and she worked at it, she had the, she 100% had like there's she has ease around it Cause she sort of was also a funny art teacher.
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But she also has worked very, very hard and she's she's going places.
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I love that and congratulations to her.
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That's amazing.
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Yeah, she's amazing Be able to do that.
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Okay, so you told me and I've seen you put this in your materials and on your website I think that you're unleashing the power of funny women and I love that and I think it has a lot of layered meaning to it.
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So tell me some more about the power of being funny.
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We like to say that comedy is power, because when you make people laugh, you make people listen, and so and that's true of everybody really.
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What's interesting, though, is that if I say to you, like quick, think of your class clown, or quick, or if I, if I ask AI to generate a picture of a standup comic, it's a dude always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always.
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Now, that may be a very nice dude and a very funny dude, but it's the default setting and it's a little bit uh, I don't mean to overstate, but it's a little bit like what if we just what if we unleash the power of women, women, women I mean just never mind the funny women just what if we just unleash the?
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It's a, it's a way of saying what if we just unleash the power of women instead of, you know, relegating us to um job, dead-end jobs or under the you know where we're never going to cross the glass ceiling, or what if we actually listen to women talk, or what if we actually, um, treated women as full humans?
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It's a way of saying that comedy isn't the only important cultural force, but it is an important cultural force, so it shapes perceptions, and it has a hierarchy of its own because, as we said, when you make people laugh, you make people listen, and also it's a job and it's an industry.
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So it also matters that women, as in any industry, have power and voice in that industry.
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And because comedy is a cultural force, it matters even more because the faces and the voices the faces we see, the voices we hear matter, yeah, and in terms of our perceptions of who has power and who should have power.
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So those are just a few of the layers that are baked into your very deep first question.
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Well, and I knew that we could maybe dive into this a little bit and that is why I did that.
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So, yes, really fascinating layers there.
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And when you said class clown, it really kind of made me think.
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It's so true that I bet you anybody listening to this is thinking of a kid they knew in elementary school.
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When you say class clown, a boy kid that they knew, and that's what I was thinking of, and then I was thinking, thinking gosh, does that then kind of color for our whole lives?
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Who we think is funny?
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And I think that happens in elementary school sometimes, because boys and girls develop at different rates and the boys are kind of silly and immature and it's not their fault.
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But does that then mean we think of boys as funnier for the rest of our lives?
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that's why, yes, the answer is and I'm not being flip, I don't have it in front of me, but the answer is yes, that's when the gendered differences get kind of formed and hardened.
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Wow, and it's science.
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You can Google it or I'll find it later and you'll put it in the show notes.
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And, to oversimplify with the is, and that's when, and to use just you know, to oversimplify with the gender binary, that's when that's the young age, even starting as young as six, if I'm not mistaken is when boys start to be, girls start to be, boys start to be conditioned to be the ones to make the jokes and girls start to be conditioned to be the ones that laugh at them.
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Wow, and, and you know it's, it's kind of intermingled with.
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You know, do boys always get rewarded for that?
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Not necessarily, like you know, it's often.
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You know the the.
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So, in fairness, you know it's often like the boys who are told to take it easy when actually it's more natural and appropriate for them to be running around.
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You know, I'm I'm oversimplifying tons of?
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of course we are.
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Of course we are.
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We're speaking in stereotype, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, or well, not stereotypes, but oversimplifications, I should say, of the way of the, the way that the just the cultural messages and behaviors that become ingrained and and girls more often than not are, even though it seems like it's cool to be the class clown, it is not necessarily rewarded for the boys.
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That's what I'm just saying.
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And then, but also you know many of us, those just saying and then, but also you know, many of us, those of us of a certain age or Gen X may in fact be even though times were changing, you know for sure, by then, you know, we may be old enough to remember being encouraged, you know, being encouraged to, you know, sit still and look pretty and probably getting pretty good at it, you know.
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So, not unless we really fought that, or unless we just weren't in that kind of environment, we also absorbed those messages of like, that's not.
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You know, I'm the audience.
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Wow, I'm fascinated by that because I think you're right and I don't think I ever sat down and thought I'm the audience, but I feel it resonates with me when you say that.
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Like, I feel like maybe that's how I've had interactions with people and for me, the interesting thing is I would love to learn how to be more funny, and we're going to talk about that, and I think I am often funny, but yet I still am hearing what you're saying, that maybe I wasn't conditioned to take that role.
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It's very interesting, yeah.
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Yeah, I mean, there's a million exceptions and all those things, but I'm speaking, you know, broadly speaking, those are the cultural messages that, in certain environments, we were raised with.
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Yeah, and if we take another layer to this, unleashing our power, I'm also thinking that in order to be funny whether it's a formal or just an informal setting we have to be self-confident in the fact that whatever we're saying or doing will be funny and people will like it.
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So there's got to be some aspect of confidence in there, which is sort of another layer of power.
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Yeah, yeah, that's true, although the only kind of nuance I would put on that is, I would not view absolute confidence in one's jokes and sense of humor as a prerequisite to taking a crack at comedy.
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Because you know, for even the most seasoned comedians we all you know chestnut Even they have stage fright, even they are shy, even they are nervous, we know this right.
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And also they never know how like one joke could land, could destroy in one place and bomb in another.
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And, by the way, destroying, bomb are the opposite.
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So weird, funny, all those violent metaphors for comedy.
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But whatever, I wonder who made those up.
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I wonder which window runs comedy?
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It's a little bit of a chicken and egg thing.
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And what really seasoned.
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What good comedy, let's put it this way, what good comedy instructors or good comedy mentors are apt to say is that you start with what's funny to you.
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It's not about, and your confidence shouldn't come from whether or not people like you, whether or not does that sound like good advice for life, but also whether or not people liked a joke in any given moment.
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Yes, of course you need to develop your jokes and tweak them and always be fiddling with them, based on audience reaction in the aggregate.
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And yes, of course you're doing jokes to get laughs, I mean, of course, but where you?
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But but where you start is not how do I please the audience?
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How do I please the audience?
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How do I please the audience?
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How do I please the audience?
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It's what do I find hilarious and how can I make that connect with the audience such that they find it hilarious too?
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So confidence is, of course, part of it, but it's not like the biggest, it's honestly not the biggest.
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Like, don't wait for the confidence to do comedy.
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Yeah, but what I'm hearing you say, though, is that it's about trusting yourself and believing that if you find something funny, then maybe somebody else will, and so there's some layer of self confidence in there, for sure.
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Yeah, yeah, I mean at least to get started right.
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But the other but again it's like but also doing it builds confidence.
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So like I'm just the only thing I want to pull out from there is like, don't wait for the confidence to show up If you want to give it a whirl, because it, you know it, you get it from doing it.
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Yeah, that's a great point and, as you said a minute ago, life lesson stop waiting to feel totally ready and confident before you do something, right.
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So let's say that somebody is really wanting to try this comedy thing and I'm going to come back and ask you about the person who, who kind of just wants to be funny in their life, but somebody really wants to get started in comedy.
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What would you recommend that they do to get started?
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Well, obviously, I recommend that they check out a gold comedy, but before that, but in general, you know, know, in anywhere, um, I recommend that they find a place where they feel comfortable and feel that they can be themselves if it's a class, whatever it is, um, and feel that they can truly be themselves.
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One of the reasons that gold exists is often, you know, the, the often, even the most, even the best classes or open mics or whatever that are available, if they are still still tend to be be, you know, dominated by dudes, and even very nice dudes, even whatever, but it, you know, if you're, you know, 55, and you know, are nervous about starting this, you know, even the nicest bunch may not feel like, okay, these are my people, you know to you, they might, but they might not.
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That's why it's important to find a place that really, where you really feel like that, you know, you, there's a mirror shining back to you, you know, where people, where you cause not every audience.
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You don't have to make everyone laugh, not every, even the best comics don't.
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Not everyone is their crowd, you know.
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So, if they're not your crowd, that's fine.
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You, you, I say, find your crowd, whether it's meaning both your audience and your crew and so find people who you feel comfortable with, who you feel like you make mistakes in front of, who you can have your jokes fall flat in front of as you develop them.
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For many people, that is gold comedy and that's what we're designed to be, but that's the secret sauce that we are going for, and specifically no bro vibe.
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I mean that's why we're designed to welcome anybody, anybody and everybody, but what we don't welcome is a bro vibe, because that's mostly what people are trying to escape.
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So I recommend finding a place where you feel comfortable taking a class.
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Taking a class is always what I recommend to people, always.
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It's almost any comedian you talk to is often where they got their start.
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The other thing I recommend is, if you're not there yet, I kind of made this up based on the idea of we all know gratitude journals, and one thing that I sometimes recommend and I haven't thought of a cute name for it, yet you can DM me if you think of one is things in my life that could be maybe funny one day.
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Journal meaning jotting down whether it's whatever your jam is, you know, on your notes app or on a notebook that you carry with you, like just things that happen during the day.
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That aren't necessarily funny things, you know, it's not like I slipped on a banana peel, you know but like things you notice.
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Things you notice Like the subway voice sounds weird, you know.
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Or just you know, awkwardly balancing 20, you know, when you're walking with like 20 different bags and also putting on lipstick or I don't, you know, I don't, I'm just making stuff up.
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They're not cause, they're not fully formed jokes.
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They're not jokes, they're just like things that you notice during the day that are either awkward or challenge, even just challenging, um, or could be slapstick, sure, or even just like something funny.
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You text to your friend and you're like wait a minute, that was kind of funny actually, you know.
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And but my point is mostly they don't have to be jokes yet and or even just like stray thoughts.
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You know, like coming into the kitchen and being like what if I just didn't do the dish, you know, and then, and then just like write that down and then later you come back to it and then you actually start writing a joke around.
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It Know literally what would happen and that's where the jokes would come from.
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Right, literally what would happen.
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But I'm getting ahead of myself.
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My point is, if you are able to jot down 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 things a day that are just possibly material, and not trying to be funny or looking for funny silly things or just things that just occur to you, that you even write down with a question mark, you know, like like me with my cat you know, my cat, literally like I went to open my lipstick before this, I got in the zoom with you and I noticed that when my cat knocked it off the table, all of the lipstick wound up in the top part.
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No, it's also because it's really hot.
00:21:32.202 --> 00:21:35.676
So, like my lipstick is so hot that it just melts, you know.
00:21:35.676 --> 00:21:40.915
So that's, I don't know, it's not a joke yet, but but like lipstick melted in heat, you know.
00:21:40.915 --> 00:21:53.740
But when you go back to it you can see patterns, you can see ideas, you can see things that, like, you don't even have to write jokes yet you could just be like, oh, if I wanted to write jokes, I wouldn't have to start with a blank page.
00:21:54.441 --> 00:22:08.202
Yes, I I love this idea and I love that you are sort of likening it to a gratitude journal, because one of the things that I learned, maybe last year or so, is this idea of a glimmer.
00:22:08.202 --> 00:22:09.867
I don't know if you've heard the word glimmer.
00:22:09.928 --> 00:22:10.348
Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:22:10.835 --> 00:22:34.162
Yeah, and, and what you're describing is kind of like that, and so I know, if you're listening, you've heard me say glimmer before, but just in case you haven't, it's the idea of looking for things in your life, little moments that make you happy the sunrise or the whatever, whatever, the smell of something, and it trains your brain to look for more, and so that's what you're saying.
00:22:34.162 --> 00:22:42.108
Yeah, train your brain to look for funny or kind of odd things that happen.
00:22:42.275 --> 00:23:03.481
But what a nice light energy that is in general and I love that Yep, and as with noticing glimmers, it cultivates the habit of noticing that you in general, and and I love that Yep, and as with noticing glimmers, it's the it cultivates the habit of noticing that you're noticing, because I swear to God and I am, I am 100% sure that you've said this If you don't write it down, you think you're going to remember, but you will not have to.
00:23:03.481 --> 00:23:05.748
You have to write it down.
00:23:05.748 --> 00:23:12.446
The only way I'm going to remember the thing about the lipstick is that we're recording this you know, like, like you, will you?
00:23:12.707 --> 00:23:16.423
and you don't even have to be as old as we are to um to to forget.
00:23:16.423 --> 00:23:17.681
You have to write it down.
00:23:17.681 --> 00:23:28.851
I don't care what system you use, I don't care if you use voice notes, but whatever it is, and the bar has to be for the, for the comedy't write anything down.
00:23:28.851 --> 00:23:34.724
The bar is just like anything that like could be a thing and in fact, okay, I'll give you this gold was gonna.
00:23:34.724 --> 00:23:41.115
One of the things that one of the swag items we want to make is a notebook that say on the front, there's something there.
00:23:41.115 --> 00:23:42.801
So I love that.
00:23:42.801 --> 00:23:45.351
Yeah, we already have pens that say write that down.
00:23:45.351 --> 00:23:48.097
And then the notebook would say there's something there and like that's it.
00:23:48.097 --> 00:23:48.538
There.
00:23:48.538 --> 00:23:50.143
Just has to be something there, that's it.
00:23:50.723 --> 00:24:07.488
Yes, I see how this is powerful and then the combination of taking some sort of class and learning how to then create this into an actual joke or something that you could do with it would kind of come together.
00:24:07.929 --> 00:24:11.759
Exactly, and yeah, because then you're basically you're doing your pre homework.
00:24:11.960 --> 00:24:13.586
Yeah, yeah, okay.
00:24:13.586 --> 00:24:33.109
So let's let's kind of flip it now to somebody who maybe isn't necessarily wanting to be on a stage and tell jokes and be a comedian in that way, but wants to be more funny in their interactions with people, whether it's work or friends or who knows what.
00:24:33.109 --> 00:24:35.820
What would be your advice to them?
00:24:36.121 --> 00:24:36.281
Sure.
00:24:36.281 --> 00:24:43.747
Well, first of all, one thing that's a little bit of an indirect answer is just a reminder that when we say comedy, we say so many things.
00:24:43.747 --> 00:24:45.878
We might be saying stand up.
00:24:45.878 --> 00:24:47.544
We might be saying writing for late night.
00:24:47.544 --> 00:24:49.116
We might be saying writing, writing sketch.
00:24:49.116 --> 00:24:49.698
We might be saying improv.
00:24:49.698 --> 00:24:50.761
We might be saying writing for late night.
00:24:50.761 --> 00:24:51.683
We might be saying writing, writing sketch.
00:24:51.683 --> 00:24:52.527
We might be saying improv.
00:24:52.527 --> 00:24:54.913
We might be saying working for brands, working in advertising.
00:24:55.174 --> 00:24:57.667
Um, you know, three out of four consumers want their brands to be funny.
00:24:57.667 --> 00:24:59.355
Which is funny is actually funny.
00:24:59.355 --> 00:25:02.468
Interesting because people say I'm totally on a side note.
00:25:02.468 --> 00:25:03.673
People say it actually.
00:25:03.673 --> 00:25:06.842
It's not just because it makes their brands more entertaining.
00:25:06.842 --> 00:25:10.863
It actually there's science about this creates trust with a brand.
00:25:10.863 --> 00:25:16.665
When a brand is funny and the same is true of, like, funny managers and leaders.
00:25:16.665 --> 00:25:26.962
It's not just like they cracked me up, it's partly that, but it builds trust because you feel a kinship, because you sort of you're in on their joke and they're in on your joke.
00:25:26.962 --> 00:25:28.266
You get each other.
00:25:28.266 --> 00:25:37.304
Yes, so I know a lot of comics who, either on the side or as their full-time jobs like this is what they do now write social for brands.
00:25:37.304 --> 00:25:40.157
So even that I would include that in comedy.
00:25:40.157 --> 00:25:47.866
So first of all, for your listeners, if you're curious about what kind of comedy at all in any sort of professional realm might be something to explore.
00:25:47.886 --> 00:25:49.397
Oh, there's also TV writing.
00:25:49.397 --> 00:25:52.306
We talk about TV writing, writing a pilot we have.
00:25:52.306 --> 00:25:59.025
We have women writing their first pilots in their fifties, all the time at gold, and even selling them and having them go into production.
00:25:59.025 --> 00:25:59.675
So you know.
00:25:59.675 --> 00:26:00.176
So there's that.
00:26:00.176 --> 00:26:08.545
So, first of all, if you're like comedy but I don't want to be on stage, click, click away from podcasts, I'm like no, there's so many ways, there's a million things.
00:26:08.545 --> 00:26:10.028
I see that, yeah.
00:26:10.429 --> 00:26:10.648
Yeah.
00:26:10.729 --> 00:26:34.779
Okay, but your next question, to answer your next question, to answer it sort of a little bit backwards for sure, comedy skills are life skills, for sure, and this is also science, that learning to training yourself, whether it be a professional or or just with the skills, science, science, science helps you think faster, write sharper, read a room, listen better, all those things.
00:26:34.779 --> 00:26:45.164
But to turn that around the other way, some of the components of sort of being funny in your daily life come from listening and reading the room.
00:26:45.164 --> 00:26:57.479
People think it comes from always coming up with the wisecrack, but the ones who always come up with the wisecrack are the ones who are listening and reading the room not the ones who walked into a room writing a joke already.
