Jan. 30, 2026
69. Hypnosis for Menopause: A Non-Hormonal Solution for Hot Flashes & Sleep, with Sarah Rubens
Are you a woman over 40 or 50 struggling with hot flashes, battling insomnia, or feeling like you are losing control amidst the massive identity shifts of midlife? You’re NOT alone — and you’re not out of options. In this episode of Mind Your Midlife, clinical hypnotherapist Sarah Rubens joins me to demystify hypnosis and explain why it is one of only two non-hormonal treatments for menopause symptoms recognized by The Menopause Society.
If you are ready to learn how to update your brain's "software" to reduce anxiety and regulate your body temperature — this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn:
✔ Hollywood vs. Reality: Why hypnosis isn't mind control, but a natural state of focused attention (like "highway hypnosis")
✔ The "Ice Block" Technique: A powerful visualization to cool your body down instantly during a hot flash
✔ Sleep reprogramming: How to shift your identity from "bad sleeper" to someone who rests easily
✔ Navigating Grief: Why midlife transitions are actually "mini losses" and how to process the ambiguous grief of change
🎯 OMG Moment:
You are not powerless in transition. Midlife can make you feel like your body is revolting against you, but hypnosis reminds you that you still have agency and can retrain your brain.
Take Action Today:
- Connect with Sarah Rubens: Visit treestarhypnosis.com for a free consultation or follow her on Instagram @treestarhypnosis.
- Take the Quiz: Are you in "Mega Menopause" or just dealing with midlife madness? Go to cherylpfischer.com/menopausequiz to find out.
- Read: Check out the book Money Magic by Michelle Masters mentioned in the episode.
- Listen: listen to the previous hynoptherapy episode and the hot flashes episode
Why This Episode Matters
Hypnosis offers a science-backed way to take the wheel back, proving that while we can't always control what happens to us, we can absolutely control how our brain
Anniversary Giveaway! See cherylpfischer.com/anniversary for terms and conditions.
**Find bonus episodes by subscribing where you find Mind Your Midlife on Apple podcasts - or go to cherylpfischer.com/bonusepisodes.
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow Gen X women navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and/or self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
💡Want menopause support, mindset shifts, or support with midlife transitions?
- Build a mindset for success with the private bonus episodes!
- Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching
Let’s talk midlife body positivity, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.
Connect with Cheryl, Midlife Coach: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website
00:00 - Welcome And Hypnosis Teaser
01:00 - Show Intro And Episode Setup
01:37 - Meet Sarah And Session Background
03:46 - What Hypnosis Really Is
06:24 - Relaxation, Trance, And Techniques
08:09 - From Stress To Parasympathetic
09:59 - Can Anyone Be Hypnotized
11:17 - Conscious, Subconscious, Superconscious
13:36 - Softening The Critical Factor
16:25 - Perception, Nervous System, Results
18:50 - Computer Metaphor For Reprogramming
20:17 - Beyond Trauma: Building Resources
23:18 - Regression And Gentle Trauma Work
26:45 - Goals, Packages, And Integration
28:44 - Money Mindset And Belief Shifts
30:52 - Hypnosis For Menopause Basics
32:33 - Hot Flashes And Temperature Control
35:02 - Guided Cooling Imagery Demo
37:50 - Calming The Pain Fear Tension Cycle
39:23 - Insomnia And Sleep Identity
41:53 - Midlife Identity And Grief
WEBVTT
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Have you ever been hypnotized?
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Have you ever looked back to something you were just doing and had no idea how you did it?
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You might have been almost in a hypnotic state.
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And I wonder if you realize the power of what hypnosis can do.
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So today, my guest and I are gonna talk all about it, and I think you're gonna love this.
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Here we go.
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Welcome to Mind Your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time.
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Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life or feel truly confident in your body.
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Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies and oh my goodness, powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife.
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This is the Mind Your Midlife podcast.
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Before we recorded today's episode, my guest, Sarah Rubens, and I actually had a hypnotherapy session.
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She offered that to me so that I could have the personal experience, and I took her up on it because I was fascinated to learn more.
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And I have been familiar with hypnotherapy in prior experiences.
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So I wanted to see how would this work?
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Her business is virtual.
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How would that work?
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The interesting piece is that hypnosis is listed as a valid and valuable non-hormone treatment for symptoms of menopause.
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Truly.
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And that's incredible.
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So let's find out today what can this actually do to make midlife a little bit easier, a little bit healthier, maybe, help us feel a little bit more empowered.
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This is what we're gonna figure out.
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And don't worry, we're gonna talk about what hypnosis actually is as well.
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So Sarah Rubens is joining me today.
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She is a clinical hypnotherapist and fellow of the International Board of Hypnotherapy.
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She has a private practice called Tree Star Hypnosis, where she works one-on-one with clients and she helps clients with shifting identity, emotional blocks, even medical challenges using evidence-based hypnosis and nervous system regulation.
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She also does group workshops.
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You're going to hear her mention that.
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And this subject really can be powerful for a lot of the issues: mindset, health, body, life that we're going through in this period of time.
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I can't wait to talk about it.
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So welcome, Sarah.
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Thank you.
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I am happy to have you here.
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And I find this topic really fascinating.
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So I think the listeners are going to as well.
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I hope so.
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I'm pretty excited about it.
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Very good.
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Okay.
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So we're just going to dive straight in because I really want you to explain a bit for us because hypnosis is one of those things: hypnosis, hypnotherapy.
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I feel like everybody's heard of it.
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And maybe, and you said this to me prior to recording at one point, maybe we've seen a show or something silly.
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And so maybe we're curious, but we don't really get it.
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So I would love for you to tell a bit more about how hypnosis works.
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That's a great question.
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So I think Hollywood's done us a little bit of a disservice and made hypnosis sound a lot more exotic and woo-woo and different than it really is.
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But what hypnosis is, is it's a natural state of focused attention where your body feels really relaxed and your mind is more, your mind is engaged and it, you're open to suggestion, positive suggestion that helps you shift patterns and beliefs and responses that no longer serve you.
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Now, the key point here, hypnosis is a natural state of mind.
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So what that means, it's it's what we often refer to as a trance state.
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We are going in and out of trance every day.
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So everybody who's listening to this at one point or another has probably experienced some sort of altered trance state, like getting in your car, driving somewhere and not remembering how you got there.
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We have a name for that.
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We call that highway hypnosis, getting in a flow state, reading a really good book and not realizing how much time has passed, right?
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Getting really engaged with a conversation.
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These are all altered states of awareness.
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So when we do it in hypnotherapy, we do it, we use it intentionally as a way to access a deeper part of your mind to help you shift states, stiff shift beliefs and um and support goals that you're trying to achieve.
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You know, I love the way you say that because when we did our session, I I think the thing that surprised me the most was that it was being really relaxed and maybe I felt kind of normal.
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And I expected something, I don't know what I expected.
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I expected something very different and strange or you know, who knows what.
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But we also talked about how sometimes when I need to fall asleep, I'll like relax parts of my body going from my feet or from my head through my body.
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And I learned that a long time ago.
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And you said, and in fact, you use that in hypnosis, right?
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You said I was hypnotizing myself, which I had no idea.
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Yes, exactly.
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So I think that's that's pretty common.
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I hear it from a lot of my clients of either having the expectation that hypnosis is going to be really weird and different and they're gonna feel in a very weird way or completely become unaware, leave their body, if you will.
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But then they're often very surprised at the end because they're like, oh, that felt like this time I did meditation or yoga nidra, or it just felt like I was more relaxed.
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And really at the end of the day, that's what we're that's what we're going for in hypnosis, right?
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We're we're teaching you, it's a way to take control of your body and mind.
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Hypnotherapist is teaching you how to put your body in a relaxed state.
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Um, we do, we use different techniques for this.
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And one of those, like you mentioned, Cheryl, is uh progressive muscle relaxation.
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So I'm gonna go from the tip of my head to the tips of my toes, and I'm gonna intentionally relax each part of my body.
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With hypnosis, we do a couple, a couple more things, like we'll do a deepener, you know, counting down from 10, 9, 8, so on and so forth, and maybe some other techniques to help help get into that state of relaxation.
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But but the real magic happens when we learn how to shift the nervous system from a parasympathetic stress or from a sympathetic stress response into the parasympathetic state, right?
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So whether you're doing that in hypnosis, a meditation by yourself before you go to bed, it's all, you know, it's all serving a greater purpose because anytime our body is in a parasympathetic state, we're we're in homeostasis, right?
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Everything, everything can flow easier from that state.
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And I think as a society, especially as women in a society, right, uh, we're not often there.
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We are constantly activated, right?
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Yeah.
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So tell me more about how this can be so powerful, because I I fully agree.
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We want to be in the parasympathetic state as often as possible.
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That's rest and digest.
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There's other ways that people might call it.
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Absolutely agree with that.
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But tell me more about why or how this becomes something where we can almost reprogram what's going on in our heads.
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Yeah, that's a great question.
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Okay.
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So, first, the first thing I'm gonna say, hypnosis question I get often can am I gonna be able to be hypnotized?
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Hypnosis is a skill that you can develop.
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So it's it every person, if they have a desire to be hypnotized, can be hypnotized, right?
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For some people, it happens really easily and quickly.
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And then for other people, it just takes time again to teach the body how to shift into a relaxed state.
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So, with my clients, um, as you know, I always share a self-hypnosis recording after our first session to practice hypnosis every day because the more we practice it, the stronger the skill becomes.
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So, one, everybody can be hypnotized.
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Two, how it works.
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Okay.
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So, our mind, we have something called the triune model of the mind that's taught through my school, the Hypnotherapy Academy of America.
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And that's basically our mind in three parts.
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So we have the conscious mind, that's the part of our mind responsible for a choice, analysis, logic, will and intention, inductive, deductive reasoning.
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Listeners, this is a part of your mind that got you to open this podcast episode.
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So thank you, conscious mind.
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Very happy you're here.
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Um yes, thank you.
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Yes, beneath the conscious, we have our subconscious.
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Now, the subconscious is what we call our great doing intelligence.
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It stores our imagination.
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The language of the subconscious mind is imagination, right?
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It influences our body and autonomic nervous system.
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It stores our memories, beliefs, and emotions, and it creates associations, right?
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Now, beneath the subconscious mind, kind of like in the middle of it, rather, is what we call the superconscious.
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This is the part of our mind that's our connection to our most resourceful parts, our inner problem-solving intelligence, right?
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You can say it's your connection to higher self, to your future self, divine intelligence, whatever it might be.
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But this is the part of us that always has the answers, that always is resourceful, right?
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Now, in hypnosis, what we're doing, right, between the conscious and the subconscious mind, we have something called the critical factor.
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This is a part of our mind that develops between the ages of seven to eleven and it acts like a gatekeeper.
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So it's it's almost like a filter of what's going to be let in and what's not.
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Now, there's ways to soften that critical factor so we can more easily access what's going on in the subconscious beneath our level of awareness.
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Those are things that we call programming, right?
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Through authority figures, peer groups, periods of high emotion.
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This is in these next three years happen a lot of in hypnosis, repetition, being in hypnosis, and anytime we say yes to something.
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So anytime these six things are happening, our critical factor is softening and we're more easily accessing the subconscious mind for better or worse, right?
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It can be to help program positive beliefs, emotions, associations, or ones, negative ones that aren't that don't serve us, right?
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Now, bringing this all together, how does it relate to the nervous system and how does it actually create results?
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What we do in or I'll start with the nervous system.
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So with the nervous system, we have perception, the way that's linked to our subconscious.
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So the way that you perceive the world is influenced by your subconscious beliefs.
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Yes.
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And your subconscious beliefs influences the way you perceive the world, right?
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Yes.
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And depending on your perception of things, it's either going to shift your body, your nervous system into a stress response, a sympathetic state, or a rest and digest into our parasympathetic state.
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So in hypnosis, what we're trying to do is shift things in the subconscious to help alter the way you perceive things, right?
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So that could be very broad, as you can imagine, the applications are wide, right?
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But for this audience, right, things like menopause, trouble sleeping, hot flashes.
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One of the ways hypnosis helps with those symptoms is that it starts to help shift the way your nervous system and mind and body respond to what's going on, right?
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It helps give some autonomy and control over that, which I'm sure we'll we'll talk a little bit more about in a minute here.
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But that's what we're doing as we're working in the subconscious.
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Um, so when you're able to shift these perceptions and create new beliefs, it leads to more positive beliefs.
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Positive beliefs lead to positive emotions, positive emotions lead to positive behavior, positive behavior leads to positive results.
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When you put all this together, it's a really interesting uh way of kind of reprogramming the body and the mind to do what you need it to do and to work for you with you rather than against you.
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Yeah.
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It's really fascinating.
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And let me see if I can sort of summarize what you said.
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You see if I've got it.
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So after the age of six, and and that's important because I think a lot of us have heard that when we're young, like as in below six, we sort of absorb everything and we don't have a filter.
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And so I appreciate that you said that.
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So after that age, we we sort of have this gatekeeper in our brain that is telling us whether to believe something, not believe it, not letting the information in or letting it in or changing it a bit or whatever.
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And so in hypnosis, what we're doing is changing our state so that whatever's going on during the hypnosis can be absorbed by the subconscious brain, can potentially become one of those core beliefs about ourselves or whatever it is we're talking about.
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Is that fair to say?
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Yeah, that's a really good, I think enabled it.
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Yeah.
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Um, another way, I think another good metaphor for explaining it is actually using the metaphor of a computer, right?
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So your your comp you have your hardware, which is the physical computer.
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That's your body, right?
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Your body is the hardware.
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The subconscious is the software.
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It's the apps that are on your computer, right?
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So when you use hypnosis, you can actually, let's say, open the open the app for hot flashes.
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Oh, you know, the way I'm responding to these hot flashes, I'm getting really stressed out.
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It's activating my sympathetic response.
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This isn't serving me anymore.
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Let's rewrite a couple layers of this code to to respond a little differently.
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Um, and then when you do that, it updates the app to version 2.1, right?
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And then your body responds differently because the hardware responds to the way the software is programmed.
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I love it.
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Yeah, that's a great visual.
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I like that a lot.
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And I promise, if you're listening, we are gonna get to the hot flashes.
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We are.
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The way you talk about hypnosis, I think is really empowering because I also think that sometimes it feels very daunting because we feel like we would need hypnosis if we wanted to dig back into some trauma that happened to us and try to move past that or heal from that, which is great.
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But maybe we don't think that it would help us otherwise.
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And your focus is much more about these basic beliefs about ourselves and about life and like a positive forward thinking kind of focus.
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So tell me a little bit more about the differences there and and why we think that, I guess.
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Yeah.
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So I always the way that I work, right?
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Every hypnotherapist is different.
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Um, but the way that I was trained is it's it's a multi-session process, right?
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So I'm not just I'm rarely ever doing just one, one off sessions with with people.
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And the reason being is that I look at this very much as um as something that you build upon each other, right?
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In our first session, we're not gonna be diving into the depths of your subconscious to like rewreck rewire all of the deep and dark traumas of your past.
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In the first couple of sessions, it's it's very, I'm not gonna say basic, but it's really important fundamental work.
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Like we are looking at some of the limiting beliefs you might have.
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We're looking at some uh things that aren't serving you, behaviors, patterns.
00:17:18.100 --> 00:17:31.299
Um, and then I'm teaching you how to do hypnosis, how to relax the body, and we're programming, doing the suggestions that we write together and creating some imagery to ground us to what it is, the outcome that you want.
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And those first couple sessions, it's it's also partly to have good resourcing, right?
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We want to make sure that you know how to relax your body, that we have an anchor, like a point that we're we're moving towards.
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Because, you know, if we're just going in and we're diving into all these deep dark pasts, right, for what?
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Why?
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If we're anchoring it to an outcome, if there's a reason we're doing this, right?
00:17:54.820 --> 00:18:00.500
It helps to get all the parts in alignment to know that we're we're moving towards something.
00:18:00.500 --> 00:18:04.100
So the first couple sessions, it's foundational self-esteem work.
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Then after a couple sessions, that's when we might start doing what we call regression therapy, right?
00:18:10.980 --> 00:18:22.980
This is where we're going, we're going back, not always, but we might go back to different moments in your life to shift perception of how that moment impacted you, right?
00:18:22.980 --> 00:18:30.420
Or maybe we're bringing more resources to a younger part of yourself to help you feel more resourceful when in a time when you weren't.
00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:44.580
What we're doing there again is really trying to shift the perception using your adult self with your adult resources so that the younger self, the younger part of you, can kind of escape the exiled place that it's in, right?
00:18:44.580 --> 00:18:55.220
Um, one of I will say one of the nice things about hypnosis is we can do trauma work and rewire trauma without having to directly revisit the actual trauma.
00:18:55.220 --> 00:19:07.940
There's different protocols that I again learned through my school, the Hypnotherapy Academy of America, that allow us to reduce some of the emotional responses to traumatic events without revisiting the event.
00:19:07.940 --> 00:19:12.820
So that's something that I personally really like about hypnosis because not everybody wants to revisit, right?
00:19:12.820 --> 00:19:14.180
Not everybody wants to go back.
00:19:14.180 --> 00:19:16.500
So that's one nice thing.
00:19:16.500 --> 00:19:22.180
So again, we're building the resources and then we're going back to do some of that deeper work, some of that rewiring.
00:19:22.180 --> 00:19:29.780
And then and then towards the end of a hypnosis package or program, that's when we're we're working on integrating, right?
00:19:29.780 --> 00:19:41.620
We're working on making sure that you have everything you need to continue the behaviors that are going to support you in achieving your goal, to continue moving forward in a way that's going to positively serve you.
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And if I'm doing my job right, you're eventually not going to need me anymore.
00:19:46.180 --> 00:19:53.300
So it creates an interesting business model for me, but um, but um the that's the point of hypnosis, right?
00:19:53.300 --> 00:19:54.740
We we work in a container.
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We work and and we usually are very focused in that container of what is the goal we're working on.
00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:07.540
And then, you know, sometimes we move on to other goals, but we're gonna spend a series of sessions on one goal to get you there, right?
00:20:07.700 --> 00:20:08.100
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And for me, for example, for those of you who are listening, I was interested in getting past what I think are some money blocks and worries about success and that kind of thing.
00:20:20.420 --> 00:20:27.940
And um, that's why I do a lot of episodes about money mindset too, because it's I know it's something that I can always get better at.
00:20:27.940 --> 00:20:35.220
And quite frankly, we can all always get better at accepting and believing in our success and money as well.
00:20:35.220 --> 00:20:36.420
So why not?
00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:40.100
But it could be lots of different goals, to your point.
00:20:40.100 --> 00:20:41.460
So that's interesting.
00:20:41.780 --> 00:20:42.500
Yeah, definitely.
00:20:42.500 --> 00:20:44.660
Yeah, I'm also I love money, mindset.
00:20:44.660 --> 00:20:46.660
Work hypnosis is great for it.
00:20:46.660 --> 00:20:52.259
Um, yeah, and because so much of money is beliefs and things that we learn in childhood.
00:20:52.259 --> 00:20:54.580
So true, so true.
00:20:54.980 --> 00:20:58.259
Yes, and my listeners know that because we've talked about it a bunch of times.
00:20:58.259 --> 00:20:59.140
So true.
00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:09.540
We create just this meaning that comes from things that maybe weren't even real events, or we perceived them in a funny way, or who knows?
00:21:09.540 --> 00:21:10.420
Totally.
00:21:10.660 --> 00:21:23.220
There's um there's a really great um book, it it's tangential hypnosis, it's NLP, neurolinguistic programming, which is kind of like the language part of hypnosis called Money Magic by Michelle Masters.
00:21:23.220 --> 00:21:25.140
And it's like a short little book.
00:21:25.140 --> 00:21:31.060
It's like, you know, maybe like eight chapters worth of activities, and I've done it a couple times and it really works.
00:21:31.060 --> 00:21:32.980
So just a little side side piece.
00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:33.460
It's great.
00:21:33.700 --> 00:21:36.900
Okay, I'm gonna make sure that that is on the website.
00:21:36.900 --> 00:21:39.780
If you're listening, Cherylpfisher.com/slash read.
00:21:39.780 --> 00:21:42.259
I'll put that book there so anybody can grab it.
00:21:42.259 --> 00:21:42.900
Thank you.
00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:44.019
I'm gonna get that one.
00:21:44.019 --> 00:21:51.940
Okay, so since we've we've now uh what am I gonna say?
00:21:51.940 --> 00:21:56.900
We've now realized that hypnotherapy can be used for so many different things.
00:21:56.900 --> 00:22:17.620
Now let's focus on some of the things that you said about midlife that I know were catching people's attention because the interesting thing is that hypnosis is one of only two non-hormonal treatments for menopause that is recognized by the menopause society.
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And I almost feel like I need to say that again.
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