Nov. 14, 2023

Ep. 30: How to Redefine Your Relationship with Money and Wealth - Money Miniseries Week 2

Money doesn't grow on trees. Money is the root of all evil. If you have debt, you must be a bad person or irresponsible with money... We hear so many different sayings and views on money as we go through life, and many of these views get saved into our subconscious as beliefs about money. If you believe deep down that money makes people greedy and bad, you can bet that you won't be able to make much money in life. Your brain will protect you from that. In week 2 of ou...

Show Notes
Transcript

Money doesn't grow on trees. Money is the root of all evil. If you have debt, you must be a bad person or irresponsible with money...

We hear so many different sayings and views on money as we go through life, and many of these views get saved into our subconscious as beliefs about money.

If you believe deep down that money makes people greedy and bad, you can bet that you won't be able to make much money in life. Your brain will protect you from that.

In week 2 of our Money Miniseries, Karen Mullins joins me to talk through money mindset.

Last week we learned how to budget, prioritize spending, payoff debt, and more - make sure you've listened to episode 29!

This week we'll learn what's underneath it all. What is your relationship with money? Is money actually good or bad? What should we call debt instead of using the word debt (and why doesn't the concept of a mortgage bother us)?

Karen and I dive into all of this in a great discussion!

Make sure to connect with Karen on Instagram at @adventuresinawareness, and reach out to her anytime by email at support@karenmullinscoaching.com.

You can also listen to the previous episode Karen and I created together (episode 6) about why sometimes we aren't getting results when we're doing all the things we thought we should.

Find all the information about OMG Teach Me at www.omgteachme.com and make sure to subscribe for podcast updates. My favorite skincare is at www.bit.ly/omgskincare and make sure we connect on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn!

Ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!

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we hear these things which have us feel and believe that like, again, like it's sending you a message or a signal that it's wrong.

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There's something wrong with wanting money.

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It's going to make you somehow a bad person, right?

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And if you believe that, well, then, you know, the job of your subconscious mind is to protect you.

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So if there's a belief that it's, you know, somehow, right, you having more money is going to make you a bad person or suddenly you're going to be judged by others, right?

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Well, we don't want that.

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What if there are things we never had the opportunity to learn?

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We've all been to school or training, but there are things they never taught us that actually make a powerful difference in life.

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I'm here to share with you all the pieces you've been missing, mindset, health, success, and more.

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And we'll all learn together from guests along the way.

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We may not have learned it the traditional way, but oh my goodness, let's keep learning how to do things differently.

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OMG, Teach Me Tribe.

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Hello.

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It is the second week in our...

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Let's say money budgeting, money smarts series.

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And so if you haven't listened to last week's episode with Katie, make sure that you go and do that.

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I will put the link in the show notes as well.

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She talked to us all about budgeting and how to make smart decisions with our money.

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And that led me to want to do this episode.

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So this week, we're going to talk about how we think about money because this is one of those things that really can stop us in our tracks if we don't get this right.

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And there's a lot of stuff from life that we often have when we think about money.

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So my guest, Karen Mullins, is my first repeat guest on the podcast because she's amazing.

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And she is a mindset and transformation coach who helps her clients achieve quantum leap goals by getting to the root cause of results which are the program beliefs and the self-image we have in our subconscious mind.

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She has been recognized as one of Bob Proctor's top 1% of coaches, and she lives in Manchester, England with her husband and two teenagers, and she has been my success coach for quite a while.

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So welcome, Karen.

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Oh my

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goodness.

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Well, I am honored to be back, Cheryl.

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I mean, and to be the first repeat guest, seriously, so no pressure on me.

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But yeah, such a joy to be back here and having this conversation with you.

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Yeah,

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I'm excited.

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Yes, because you are really the person that helped me start to dig into how I looked at money and how maybe I could change that.

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So you are the person I thought up for this conversation.

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And I think it's really going to be powerful for people.

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Yeah, you know, this is an area, gosh, this is an area of my own journey in this work, you know, that I think came up for me quite early on in terms of like, oh, wow, you know, like this is an area that I need to focus on and just shine a bit of a light on.

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So yeah, I'm yeah, I'm super happy to be here.

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And just to be having this conversation, I think is powerful.

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Excellent.

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And that leads us right into my first question, because I always ask kind of what's your story?

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How did you get where you are?

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And I'm sure I already asked you that in the previous one.

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So we're going to get a little bit more specific.

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And I'm going to say, tell us a little bit about how you came to know or to realize that money mindset is such a powerful thing.

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Yeah, gosh, it really is.

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And I think for me, it showed up really quite early in my own journey as a business owner, right?

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Like as a business owner and entrepreneur.

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So yeah, we possibly touched on this maybe in the first call we did together, but by way of background, I'd been 20 years in the corporate world.

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So very much the way that I received any income was from what felt like a very, you know, kind of secure paycheck each month, right?

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And so then for me getting into Thank you so much.

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always say is, you know, would you, you know, how would you like to turn your annual income into your monthly income, right?

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Like that was an idea that he would often float by us, right?

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And the very first time, you know, that I heard him say that, just the idea of it blew my mind, right?

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Like it wasn't really an idea I could easily accept.

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And so I think right there is the beginnings of the realization that like, okay, well, maybe my thinking or how I feel about money, because actually, it's a lot of the time, it's the emotional side of it.

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maybe this could do with some attention, right?

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Like maybe this, yeah, it needs a bit of a tune up because what I was experiencing and what I've since found out that so many of my clients go through too, right, is that we can have a desire for more money, right?

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I think there is unlikely to be anyone I'm sure listening to this show that deep down, right, or maybe not even so deep down, but I mean, and I'm sure we're going to get into this, would have a desire to be earning more, right?

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Like if they could, why not?

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And so what often shows up is that we have have a desire for more and yet on some level so many of us can feel like there's something wrong with that desire right so we've straight out the gate we've got a conflict with what we want versus how we feel about what we want right and this is so important and this is why the money mindset piece comes in because one of the core kind of principles and I know you know this Cheryl right but one of the core things that that I say and remind people of is we don't so much get what we want we get how we feel about what we want and so here we are then with like okay so if we've got some real mixed emotions in relation to money in relation to this thing that actually secretly or maybe not so secretly we'd love more of then let's take a look at that right and that's really where the money mindset piece starts to come in again what's going on under the hood right you said a big focus of my work is on that subconscious part of our mind

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yes

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and so it's the same for money as with anything else right like what are some of those beliefs then that we've got fixed within ourselves typically in our subconscious mind that is showing up for us and then Right.

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Because, and I'll say this, as with everything else, money's no different, right?

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Like what we go on to achieve and the results that we get in our external world are nothing more than a reflection of what is going on inside of us.

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Right.

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And so that's why, yeah, we need to kind of pay attention and kind of dig into that

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a little bit.

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podcast and we even entitled it, I'm Doing All the Things, Why Don't They Work?

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And so it was exactly this.

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We were talking about how there might be some sort of resistance hidden in there or some sort of feeling or thought that was preventing us from achieving what we wanted.

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So yes, everyone go back and listen to that one too, because it's all going to tie in.

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But let's take that a little bit farther because you mentioned that we're going to have either thoughts or maybe feelings about money.

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They're Maybe they're hidden and we don't realize it.

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Maybe we realize it.

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We don't know what to do about it.

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But where do they come from?

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And why is money is often a big one for these subconscious kind of blocks.

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So why does that happen?

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Why does money often feel like a negative or a hard thing?

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Yeah, well, because as with so much of what we believe, obviously about anything, right?

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It's forming what I call like a part of our programming or a part of our paradigm, okay?

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Which is this kind of mental program that's fixed in your subconscious mind okay and what we want to understand about that is that we didn't really create it right like so much of what you and I believe that is fixed kind of deep down in that emotional part of us because our subconscious mind is the emotional mind so hence why our feelings are so linked to what's going on in there okay so much of what we believe at that deep subconscious level it forms part of like our programmed beliefs about anything have actually just been passed down to us from one generation to the next right and or they have been modeled to us in the environment that we grew up in the society that we live in and so if you think about it in relation to like again money in particular you only have to an example I give actually a lot at the moment especially for women is that actually you don't even have to go back that far to see just how much our world has changed in terms of our relationship with money right and I was horrified to discover not that long ago I I might add, that it wasn't until 1975, okay, that women, I think this is the same in the US, it's definitely the case in the UK, but I think it was very similar timing, if not the same timing over in the US, it wasn't until 1975 that women could open up a bank account in their own name or take out a loan without having their husband or their father sign for them, right?

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Oh my goodness.

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Right?

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That was the year I was born, Cheryl, so it's really meaningful to me because it just highlights, oh my gosh, knowing what I know about how our beliefs and our conditioning and how we feel about money actually are literally handed down, you know, from from one generation to the next to whoever, you know, kind of has raised us, it's like, wow, is there any wonder, and I will say kind of women, especially here, but of course, the same applies male or female in terms of how your programming is formed.

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But is it any wonder that that's so many, as I say, women in particular, don't maybe have the confidence don't have such a healthy relationship with money, etc.

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Because we certainly my generation, we've been raised by mothers and grandmothers who didn't even you know just didn't have that same autonomy you know with money or independence that we have so we're getting mixed messages you know sort of straight away around like yes so we have this desire for more money but then we have so many conflicting beliefs you know that sit with that well you know if you want to go and earn more money you know you're going to have to sacrifice it's not that easy you know this is where these kind of things start to kick in as well

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yeah yeah or maybe that you're a bad Oh my gosh,

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that's another one.

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I know right now, I'm literally actually in the first month of a three month prosperity program that literally is focusing completely on money mindset.

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And interestingly, this was something so what you just said was something that's been coming up for quite a few people that are doing that work with me, where that's one of the things that they'd learned.

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That's one of the things that they had heard growing up, right?

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That kind of like, oh, I've seen what money does to people.

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And actually, that's never meant in a positive way, right?

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Do you see?

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Yeah.

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And it's kind of, so even if the, even if it's not being spelled out, but I mean, we've all heard things like, oh, money's the root of all evil.

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Right.

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And you know, it's not all about the money, you know, like, and again, we hear these things, which have us feel and believe that like, again, like it's sending you a message or a signal that it's wrong.

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There's something wrong with wanting money.

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That's, it's going to make you somehow a bad person.

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Right.

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And if you believe that, well then, you know, the job of your subconscious mind is to protect you.

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So if there's a belief that it's you know somehow right you having more money is going to make you a bad person or suddenly you're going to be judged by others right well we don't want that so we might want money but we don't want to be judged by others we don't want others to people other people to think that we're bad and so it's just fascinating like seeing how these things come up and then getting people to to really start to reevaluate that right like that's one of the things that i've really been doing over these last few weeks as i say with with in this particular program, but just really getting people to look at, well, hang on, is it money that's not good or is it the individuals themselves, right?

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Like really, and in a great way, I guess if I share this, it will help those listening to this episode.

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If you think about it, right?

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Like you can find five, 10 people, right?

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That like are good people that have got money, right?

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You could easily think of and find a number of people that have got money that are good people, right?

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But by the same token, you could just as easily find five or 10 people that don't have money that are amazing good people too right so again it's like it's not the money and we can do the opposite the opposite is also true you can look to people that have tons of money that aren't very nice people but you can also find people that have no money that are also not very nice people right you know it's just it's sort of joining the dots on it of like it's not the money it's it's the people like let's not go giving you know kind of money power it doesn't have but these are things that we need to kind of like unpick for ourselves and tell ourselves in order to then realize gosh so much of what I've been believing about money just isn't true right right

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yeah you know it's interesting a story is coming to mind and I'm not going to say that somebody in the older generation of my family said this and I'm not going to say who it was so that I don't out them but anyway this person had moved into a home in a really nice neighborhood and was going to be able to stay a long time as this person was getting older and at one point I was there visiting and He or she said to me, I live in the rich neighborhood now.

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It was with embarrassment.

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It wasn't a brag.

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It was like, ooh, ooh, I don't know if that's okay.

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First of all, it's just a really nice neighborhood.

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It's not like some mansion or whatever.

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Second of all, why embarrassment?

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That was just so enlightening to me that that's the generation in my family that has influenced me and just that awareness was important yeah

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and you know I think that comes back to and this is something to really be aware of and also to notice if you ever catch yourself because again we can do it subconsciously we can do it just automatically but if you ever catch yourself judging somebody that has money right because you see in that example where we might feel a little bit kind of don't it's also a little bit of like don't brag don't be too loud don't show off isn't it it's things like this

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yeah but

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always that's coming really from a place of you know just yeah don't stand out too much because actually that's vulnerable to do that it's not safe like really that's kind of the underlying message of like oh it's not safe to be seen to be having this money because what will people think like that's almost the unspoken part what will that's like what will other people think it's the judgment and we want to be careful then and this is something else that I was just teaching on recently of if you find yourself judging somebody else like if you just look, you may not do it out loud, but just in your own head, you might judge someone that's got money.

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Notice that because your subconscious mind is always listening.

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So if it notices you doing that, it's kind of like, oh, okay, noted, right?

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Like best not, you know, best not like allow her to have too much then because otherwise like now she's going to get judged like this, right?

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And it doesn't want you to be judged.

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You see, it's that type of a, it's so fascinating.

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I mean, it's so fascinating, Cheryl, you know, just the crazy ideas, yeah, that we've bought into.

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But just that it's wrong to want money.

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Like, I think fundamentally, it just it can come down to that, like basic one that so many of us have, you know, kind of learned almost on some level anyway, that we

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then need to make our peace with.

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Yes.

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Correct.

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Absolutely.

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It is.

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It's a magnifier.

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And I think that's exactly it.

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It's like, let's bring it back to like reminding ourselves of what money is.

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It's kind of really just a genius idea, right?

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Like it's the reward for service and it makes it so much easier to live in a world where if I want to get my hair cut, but my hairdresser doesn't want mindset coaching, it's kind of like, oh, right.

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Well, I'm stumped because I really need my roots doing.

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What do you mean?

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Like, here, let me just coach you for an hour in an exchange to do my roots, right?

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It's kind of, thank goodness.

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We're not in that situation, right?

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Otherwise, like, yeah, maybe like we'd be going hungry because it turns out the people in the grocery store don't want mindset coaching either.

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You know, it's just, right?

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But it's like, oh, so thank goodness someone came up with this means of exchange.

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So we can be like, oh, I've got this thing that's universally acceptable.

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So like, yeah, here, like you would like this service, great.

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And it's, yeah, that's really all it is.

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And I think sometimes it helps to just remind ourselves of that because we are the ones, again, as humans that have given it so much meaning that really it doesn't, you know, it doesn't deserve to have, but you're right.

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It's a magnifier.

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And I think it's understanding that it's, it's just going to make you more of who you already are.

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And so what a wonderful thing to know if you know, deep down, you're a good person and you can do so much more good.

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Yes, absolutely.

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Absolutely.

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Okay.

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So then we've realized maybe we have some issues in our heads about this.

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So how can we start to change how we think about or how we view money with those kind of deep seated beliefs?

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I think the first step is awareness right like always it's awareness it's just and it's just being able to see where you currently are and to have a mind open enough of course to want to shift and change it right but again if you're if you're looking for the answer to that question let's assume that that box is already ticked that's like yeah I do want to improve that that mindset on my relationship with money so the first step for sure is awareness and in fact as I've just said right there like the first step if you want to improve your relationship with money do you know what one of the best ways that I know, and actually, it's quite a fun kind of exercise to do in some respects, at least, to really become aware of like, well, where am I currently?

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What is my current relationship with money?

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Literally, kind of, you can be a bit playful with this, but start to think of money as if it literally was your significant other, right?

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So you are in a relationship with money, like we all are.

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So you're in a relationship with money right now.

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If you started to see money as your significant other, what kind of a relationship are you in with money, right?

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Like, do you really love money or is it like, well, sometimes I love it and sometimes not so much.

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And well, I love you, but you're never around enough or like you come, but then you leave really quickly.

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You're never here when I want you, right?

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Can you see, or like, I kind of want you and like, I kind of feel good about wanting you, but this side of you over here, like if we were talking about, I don't know, like debt or something, now I feel really bad for wanting, like that's not even allowed.

00:19:28.128 --> 00:19:28.950
Do you know what I mean?

00:19:28.990 --> 00:19:31.313
And it's just that kind of, do I need to go to counseling?

00:19:31.333 --> 00:19:33.494
Am I in a dysfunctional relationship with money here?

00:19:33.515 --> 00:19:34.036
You know?

00:19:34.256 --> 00:19:36.679
Like, or am I avoiding it, right?

00:19:36.699 --> 00:19:37.900
Like, am I deep in avoidance?

00:19:37.960 --> 00:19:39.741
Am I not paying money any attention,

00:19:39.781 --> 00:19:40.742
right?

00:19:41.242 --> 00:19:47.730
Like there's so many kind of like facets to this that if you look at it through that lens, it's really fascinating of like, oh my gosh, yeah.

00:19:47.851 --> 00:19:49.412
That's really interesting.

00:19:49.692 --> 00:19:53.036
And it makes me realize that I have some more work to do too.

00:19:54.498 --> 00:19:57.560
It's never ending for all of us, this work, right?

00:19:57.580 --> 00:20:00.523
We always want to be like, okay, let's stay in the work.

00:20:00.644 --> 00:20:02.246
But yeah, it's really, it is.

00:20:02.306 --> 00:20:03.788
It's a really interesting one, that one.

00:20:04.208 --> 00:20:10.315
Because it's also that if we want more, think about it, like if we want more of something, right?

00:20:10.375 --> 00:20:17.642
And I think actually this is maybe something if I just even back up a little bit, because I think this was also a thought that really helped me when it comes to money.

00:20:17.803 --> 00:20:19.203
And it's something that Wallace D.

00:20:19.263 --> 00:20:22.307
Wattles talks about in his book, The Science of Getting Rich.

00:20:22.627 --> 00:20:31.636
And he talks about how actually like our want for more of anything, including money, is very much just a natural expression of who we are, right?

00:20:31.676 --> 00:20:36.864
Like it's that kind of like life force within us That's always for expansion and fuller expression.

00:20:59.105 --> 00:21:05.892
I've had a few experiences lately where people thought I was a lot younger than I actually am.

00:21:05.912 --> 00:21:07.232
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00:21:36.193 --> 00:21:43.119
You know, so I think it's so important to kind of like, first of all, make peace with that idea of like, of course, it's right to want more.

00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:44.361
It's just part of who I am.

00:21:44.381 --> 00:21:46.383
And then yeah, look at that, that relationship.

00:21:46.442 --> 00:21:48.944
Like, okay, well, let's take a look at my relationship with money.

00:21:48.984 --> 00:21:54.730
Because if I do want more, but I'm not very welcoming, if I kind of resent money, if I feel like it's never there when I need it, etc.

00:21:54.769 --> 00:21:55.190
Right?

00:21:55.230 --> 00:22:00.015
Like if that was in a dating relationship, it's like, oh, I don't want to stick around her too much.

00:22:00.035 --> 00:22:01.056
Right?

00:22:01.076 --> 00:22:02.416
She doesn't appreciate me.

00:22:02.737 --> 00:22:06.160
So yeah, just I think I would say like, use that to just shine a bit of a light.

00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.281
on what your current relationship's like.

00:22:08.522 --> 00:22:10.203
And that's the first step is the awareness.

00:22:10.263 --> 00:22:10.704
Yeah.

00:22:11.005 --> 00:22:17.231
I think that will help people because these are things that are kind of hidden in there and we don't really think about it necessarily.

00:22:17.332 --> 00:22:17.632
Yeah.

00:22:17.731 --> 00:22:18.272
Exactly.

00:22:18.373 --> 00:22:22.857
And I think that's why that one's such a good tool because there's almost like nowhere to hide, right?

00:22:22.897 --> 00:22:28.523
Like you can, when you look at it in terms of like, oh, well, there's certain aspects of money that I'm okay with.

00:22:28.604 --> 00:22:31.666
But if there's like, oh, there's an area over here that I'm not so good with.

00:22:31.846 --> 00:22:32.167
Yeah.

00:22:32.327 --> 00:22:32.667
Yeah.

00:22:32.929 --> 00:22:38.555
So because you brought up debt, I'm going to skip over to that topic for just a minute.

00:22:38.775 --> 00:22:49.306
Because here in the US, anyway, during this month, there are some changes happening with regard to college loans and having to pay back debt.

00:22:49.425 --> 00:22:55.112
And this is something that just travels with people for 10, 15, 20 years sometimes.

00:22:55.573 --> 00:23:01.019
And obviously, there could be debt from a home, there could be credit card debt.

00:23:01.118 --> 00:23:07.605
I know Americans are pretty well known about having bad credit card debt issues because because we like to buy lots of stuff.

00:23:07.885 --> 00:23:09.807
I don't know if that's true in the UK as well.

00:23:09.948 --> 00:23:11.028
Pretty similar, I think.

00:23:11.068 --> 00:23:13.612
Yeah,

00:23:13.771 --> 00:23:14.252
I'm sure.

00:23:14.512 --> 00:23:15.574
Yeah, we all want the stuff.

00:23:15.914 --> 00:23:31.510
So I think this idea that debt is bad or just the worry about it all the time hanging over our heads can become a mindset issue that creates kind of a negative money thing too.

00:23:31.730 --> 00:23:35.515
So do you have any advice about people who are dealing with that?

00:23:36.016 --> 00:23:37.136
Yeah, absolutely.

00:23:37.277 --> 00:23:49.770
And you're so right, by the way, that if you've got that weighing on you, like if that feels like something that's heavy and it does for a lot of people, because that's, again, that's the message that we all receive and that's the conditioning and the programming and we don't question it.

00:23:49.990 --> 00:23:55.896
So then now as part of this money relationship that we're in, we've got a lot of shame and judgment that we're carrying around with that.

00:23:56.096 --> 00:24:04.105
And if we're going to put labels on ourselves, okay, like, well, then we've carrying around a label of, well, I'm not very good with money because, right, like I've got debt.

00:24:04.306 --> 00:24:08.210
Let's say that can be something that you know, a judgment that someone makes for themselves.

00:24:08.611 --> 00:24:27.330
And the very first step to being sort of energetically, which is at the heart of a lot of the work I do, but from an energy perspective, the very first step to put yourself in a place where you can attract more money and more prosperity to yourself is you genuinely have to start to feel that way and feel that way now, you know, not once you get there.

00:24:27.510 --> 00:24:35.920
And so, of course, this, I think, is like a big catch-22 for so many people when it comes to debt, because then they're thinking, well, how can I feel prosperous if I've got debt, etc., etc.?

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.000
?

00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:36.240
etc.

00:24:36.299 --> 00:24:49.615
So yeah, the advice that I give is, as with kind of everything, I guess that we've been looking at so far is it's so important to reframe that it's so important to question some of the beliefs and assumptions you've been making about debt to this point.

00:24:49.875 --> 00:24:58.784
And so how can you look at it, okay, sort of in terms of where you are right now, and this isn't a message of saying, Oh, hey, like, it's okay, just go put more money on your credit card, right?

00:24:58.924 --> 00:25:01.186
No, you want to be responsible about that.

00:25:01.326 --> 00:25:05.451
Okay, like, that's another key part of this is being responsible with the money that you've got.

00:25:05.672 --> 00:26:08.179
But you are where you are and I think it's so important not to judge yourself and in fact you can reframe it I actually say to my clients like actually how can you be grateful for the balance that's on your credit card statement like you might even want to like stop using the word debt because there's such a lot of like negative connotation that we just have programmed in so it could be like oh I have financing on a you know I have a balance on a credit card statement just in the way that I said it then okay how can you feel grateful for it and recognize that that actually is still money that has supported you right like if you can see it like that because by definition it has that's you've had money that you have been able to use and really it's it's you're paying for that service it's still a service that you're receiving from let's say your credit card provider if we're talking about credit card debt I mean and also with debt there's all different types right like very few people feel shame judgment or bad about a mortgage it's so it's kind of like oh like a mortgage that's hundreds of thousands is actually completely fine but oh my goodness if I've got some money over here on a credit card statement.

00:26:08.239 --> 00:26:09.920
Well, shame on me, right?

00:26:10.361 --> 00:26:10.760
Right.

00:26:11.041 --> 00:26:21.532
So I really think that it's so important for us as individuals, like this is also part of you taking ownership of your money story, your relationship with money, where what if I just change the way I felt about that?

00:26:21.792 --> 00:26:28.640
Because I'm telling you, that will clean up your energy where you can see that like, do you know what, like, it supported me at that point, right?

00:26:28.680 --> 00:26:29.520
Like, or it supported me.

00:26:29.560 --> 00:26:31.743
And it might be I mean, gosh, I've done this, right?

00:26:31.784 --> 00:26:33.766
Like, I wouldn't be here today.

00:26:33.786 --> 00:26:48.741
On this episode, Cheryl, you and me wouldn't even know each other because if it wasn't for being able to, you know, invest in myself and put some money on my American Express card, I wouldn't have invested in coaching for myself or invested in getting trained and being mentored by Bob Proctor, right?

00:26:48.781 --> 00:26:51.285
Like I didn't have that money just sat in savings.

00:26:51.545 --> 00:26:58.632
And so I made a decision, great, like that's something I'm so grateful for because it enabled me to do something that was an investment in myself.

00:26:58.893 --> 00:27:00.413
You know, so again, no shame on that.

00:27:00.473 --> 00:28:05.584
I was so grateful and happy to pay for the service of being able to do that, which is really obviously then what you're paying for in interest so just even breaking it down like that and I think also recognizing that and maybe this is moving on a bit and it's probably might even overlap a little bit with the call that you've already done on on some of the management of money but also recognizing that you can be responsible and repaying like debt that you might have or credit card you know bills and things at the same time as you can also be saving a little bit as well right and it's just recognizing that just because you've got debt it doesn't stop you from being responsible with money it doesn't stop you from saving and and you know having different pots of money in different places yeah but yeah i think that the first thing sorry just to kind of go back then i think the first thing or the most important thing is to to shift the way you feel like release the judgment release any shame i just think that's gotta go that isn't serving anybody i think it's like recognizing do you know what no that was money that supported me or even still is supporting me you know whilst you're then working on shifting and changing you know to a to a more overflowing state with money

00:28:05.584 --> 00:28:06.285
Right.

00:28:06.444 --> 00:28:12.832
And when you said be grateful for that, I thought in my head, well, how is she going to talk me into this one?

00:28:14.493 --> 00:28:15.153
But I get it.

00:28:15.173 --> 00:28:15.914
I get it.

00:28:16.335 --> 00:28:16.536
Do

00:28:16.895 --> 00:28:24.904
you see like how and I hear I get why your reaction was that too, because once upon a time, I would have been judging myself for that.

00:28:24.944 --> 00:28:28.228
And I wouldn't have been able to look with gratitude, right?

00:28:28.288 --> 00:28:34.575
Like gratitude is such a powerful tool, obviously, not just in money mindset, but actually, particularly in money mindset.

00:28:34.615 --> 00:28:35.536
It's so powerful.

00:28:35.536 --> 00:28:51.133
because now you're shifting and changing your energy around money because you cannot create a more prosperous life for yourself in any area, but particularly as it comes to money, if you're operating with an energy of kind of like scarcity and lack and that's what's happening.

00:28:51.173 --> 00:29:05.989
If somebody's like really judging themselves for the debt and feeling bad for the debt, they're really then coming from an energetic state of like, I haven't got enough and just that this isn't good and I'm no good with money versus actually I can totally change the way that I'm seeing that.

00:29:06.009 --> 00:29:07.509
I think that's really going to be powerful.

00:29:07.549 --> 00:29:17.881
And even just switching the word that we use, what an interesting idea, because words do have power and they have meanings that we've attached to them, right?

00:29:18.541 --> 00:29:26.309
Well, because you're right, we very rarely would go around sort of even like in relation to the homes that we own.

00:29:26.349 --> 00:29:33.096
And I know in the UK, it might be similar in America, but in the UK in particular, it's such a big culture of home ownership.

00:29:33.758 --> 00:29:36.862
Nobody feels bad for the mortgage, but just see, it's a different word, isn't it?

00:29:36.902 --> 00:29:38.103
We don't even use the word debt.

00:29:38.303 --> 00:29:41.767
So people aren't walking around going, oh my goodness, I've got 300,000 in debt.

00:29:41.967 --> 00:29:42.887
They're not saying that.

00:29:42.948 --> 00:29:45.150
It's just like, oh, I've got a mortgage, you know?

00:29:45.351 --> 00:29:45.590
Right.

00:29:45.631 --> 00:29:46.151
And that's a good thing.

00:29:46.171 --> 00:29:47.272
And they're grateful for the mortgage.

00:29:47.393 --> 00:29:48.094
Exactly.

00:29:48.173 --> 00:29:49.015
You're grateful for that.

00:29:49.194 --> 00:29:50.375
So why can't we be?

00:29:50.715 --> 00:29:56.643
I think it's knowing, but even here, I want to be careful that I'm not sowing seeds where people are then judging themselves.

00:29:56.883 --> 00:30:04.991
I just think we've got to be sort of careful, like, you know, really see the difference between the purpose that we are using the money for, right?

00:30:05.031 --> 00:30:07.074
Like, I mean, that's that's where we do need to take responsibility.

00:30:07.114 --> 00:30:10.897
So again, I'm not saying just go and like spend money that you don't have.

00:30:11.157 --> 00:30:16.844
But I think there are definitely times for people where it's kind of, you know what, I'm taking a responsible decision here.

00:30:16.884 --> 00:30:18.746
And this is an investment I want to make in myself.

00:30:18.826 --> 00:30:24.231
And I'm grateful that there is such a thing as either a loan or a credit card that can allow me to do that.

00:30:24.511 --> 00:30:26.074
And I can pay it off over time.

00:30:26.233 --> 00:30:28.797
And that's, you know, that's what we're doing with mortgages.

00:30:28.876 --> 00:30:32.820
So why not do that in other ways to, again, really feel that money gets to support you?

00:30:33.021 --> 00:30:33.321
Yes.

00:30:33.382 --> 00:30:34.502
So it's about purpose.

00:30:34.603 --> 00:30:37.145
And this is actually the other thing that I was going to ask.

00:30:37.365 --> 00:30:39.868
And so that's good that you just were mentioning this.

00:30:40.048 --> 00:30:50.160
Sometimes if we are trying to make a change in our life or we're trying to increase our income or we're starting a business or whatever related to that, we have to spend some money, right?

00:30:50.279 --> 00:30:53.644
And it might be money, like you're saying, that we don't have right now.

00:30:54.003 --> 00:30:58.067
And so that's not necessarily an easy decision to make as well.

00:30:58.127 --> 00:31:05.135
I've had people join my social marketing business and put their initial expenditure on a credit card.

00:31:05.236 --> 00:31:24.296
And it doesn't even have to be a lot frankly in that type of business but it can be a lot if it's a certification or you know a franchise so I guess you're saying the purpose is a big piece of that why are we doing this and what's the potential and that's kind of how it will help us make that decision

00:31:24.537 --> 00:31:36.509
yeah definitely and also and I think this is also where you have to trust yourself as an individual too because I think it's not just like one size fits all okay and I think we do need to be very careful.

00:31:36.710 --> 00:31:39.573
Gosh, especially in the world that I work in, in the coaching world.

00:31:39.732 --> 00:31:46.220
And one of the principles that I teach in a more general sense is this like really like act like the person you intend to become, right?

00:31:46.259 --> 00:31:48.102
Like act and embody that energy.

00:31:48.321 --> 00:31:56.590
And again, this can be where it gets messy when it comes to money, because so many people take that and take it very literally that act as if means I've got to spend as if.

00:31:56.691 --> 00:32:01.756
So if that version of me is carrying a Louis Vuitton bag, well, I better go and just put that on the credit card, right?

00:32:01.977 --> 00:32:04.298
And we've got to be careful here.

00:32:04.479 --> 00:33:05.443
And this is where it's not so black and white because if you were the type of person okay so this is again like almost like a caveat for your listeners here right but like you've got to know yourself and know yourself enough you've got to check in with the energy with which you're doing that kind of a purchase right like if you are doing it because you know that actually yes by doing this I know that's going to shift like who I feel you know who I feel myself to be and I can hold the energy of it then there are times when that could be you know a kind of like an okay investment to make making yourself but on the other hand if you're someone that's going to do that and then you're going to worry about it you're going to feel guilty about it you're going it's going to put you more into a lack energy then you shouldn't be doing it right do you see so it's kind of like it's very important to check in not only with the reason behind the decision but also um yeah like how are you holding the energy of that right like is it is it is it a kind of like a hell yes or is it like a no do you know what that's just going to put me more into feeling lack and scarcity in which case it's a no Don't go

00:33:05.483 --> 00:33:05.884
there.

00:33:05.904 --> 00:33:06.025
Yeah.

00:33:06.204 --> 00:33:06.505
Yeah.

00:33:06.665 --> 00:33:22.542
And I guess it's, I mean, isn't everything, but it's also related to our self image because if I go out and I buy the bag or the, you know, office space or whatever, and I don't feel like I deserve it, then that's going to create exactly what you're talking about.

00:33:22.583 --> 00:33:23.923
Some sort of disconnect.

00:33:24.144 --> 00:33:24.464
Yeah.

00:33:24.664 --> 00:33:25.065
Correct.

00:33:25.164 --> 00:33:25.605
Correct.

00:33:25.766 --> 00:33:27.548
And I think, yeah, for sure.

00:33:27.667 --> 00:33:28.808
You want to be careful with this.

00:33:28.848 --> 00:33:32.553
Like don't go, I'll always say, and Cheryl, you'll know this.

00:33:32.593 --> 00:34:11.094
If you're wanting to, I we're sort of going off that topic a little bit of debt now but it kind of follows through in terms of just that like circulating money in a way that helps you to to get into the energy of prosperity you don't need to be going out and buying a Louis Vuitton bag or whatever right like I'll often say go in the grocery store and maybe you just pick up a few things like if you're someone that's always checking the price before you put something in I don't know like your basket or something what if you just just for even just a few things decided you know what like I'm just going to buy the, I don't know, the ice cream that I fancy and I'm not even going to look at the price and that's what I'm going to do.

00:34:11.135 --> 00:34:13.097
You could do this in a restaurant.

00:34:13.157 --> 00:34:18.202
And again, especially you can pick the restaurant where you know that, okay, I'm not going to look at the prices.

00:34:18.222 --> 00:34:18.943
You're not going to go crazy.

00:34:18.963 --> 00:34:19.483
Exactly.

00:34:19.503 --> 00:34:22.726
I'm not going to look at the prices and I'm still going to be able to pay the mortgage at the end of the month.

00:34:22.927 --> 00:34:27.532
Or, you know, you might not want to pick a Michelin star restaurant, you know, whatever.

00:34:27.552 --> 00:34:31.876
But just like these are little things that you can do, but they're powerful, right?

00:34:31.916 --> 00:34:33.818
Like it connects you to that prosperous energy.

00:34:33.838 --> 00:34:33.858
I

00:34:34.298 --> 00:34:34.960
love that.

00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:41.306
Yeah, exactly.

00:35:04.911 --> 00:35:09.996
like lack and limitation, that's where we're constantly like, right, I've got a budget, I don't have enough, right?

00:35:10.237 --> 00:35:12.420
And it's kind of like, how can I shift that way of thinking?

00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:13.661
How can I shift that energy?

00:35:13.822 --> 00:35:16.905
But you want to do it in a way that's not going to trigger your nervous system.

00:35:16.985 --> 00:35:22.990
So you're not, as I say, you're not then, okay, I've got to go and buy some expensive bag or shoes that like, oh my gosh, now I feel sick.

00:35:23.172 --> 00:35:28.456
No, just go and be like, okay, I'm going to buy the tea bags that I want without looking at the price, right?

00:35:28.476 --> 00:35:39.268
Like something that you know, that's kind of, yeah, this isn't going to, this It's breaking the habit of always, yeah, coming from that place of lack, if

00:35:42.211 --> 00:36:04.436
that makes sense.

00:36:04.815 --> 00:36:07.858
We are not attaching this worry and negative stuff.

00:36:08.219 --> 00:36:08.820
It's that.

00:36:09.121 --> 00:36:16.027
If we're going around all the time thinking, oh, I'm not going to have enough money, I'm not going to have enough money, then we're almost creating more of that, right?

00:36:16.188 --> 00:36:17.168
Yeah, absolutely.

00:36:17.248 --> 00:36:22.454
We really do become what we think about or who we feel ourselves to be.

00:36:22.614 --> 00:36:25.257
So you want to be really careful, right?

00:36:25.378 --> 00:36:28.440
Because these kinds of thoughts just happen automatically, right?

00:36:28.481 --> 00:36:34.728
Like we literally, like if you're someone that you can be in the habit even of just having the thought, oh, I've got no money.

00:36:34.768 --> 00:36:39.233
Like I would encourage you, if you're someone listening to this and you ever catch yourself having that thought, right?

00:36:39.293 --> 00:36:43.838
And I'll put my hands up, like I've had that thought in the past and it's never been true, right?

00:36:43.878 --> 00:36:45.059
Like it's never been true.

00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:47.320
We don't even really mean it in the literal sense.

00:36:47.380 --> 00:36:54.929
You'll mean it relative to, I don't know, what's normal for you or what's in the bank account at the moment, even though you know more is coming and et cetera, et cetera.

00:36:55.070 --> 00:37:00.295
But this is where we get to shift the way that we're looking at things.

00:37:00.556 --> 00:37:01.737
This is where the awareness comes in.

00:37:01.777 --> 00:37:40.878
And so if you can catch a thought where you notice that you're thinking oh I don't have any money for instance that's kind of going to be like well that's not strictly true is it like you will you know I think for most people that's kind of not you really you do have money you may not have as much of it as you would like but when you understand the way the mind works and the energy that we're in yeah we want to we want to turn that around we want to get out of that loop of feeling like we don't have enough another great tip actually just again to give people things that they can take away and act on and it comes back to gratitude but like if you can really understand understand that whenever you are paying for anything, and I really do mean anything, you are receiving a service, right?

00:37:40.898 --> 00:37:44.882
Like if you can join the dots on that, like when you're paying for something, you're receiving a service.

00:37:45.043 --> 00:37:47.264
So how can you get into gratitude?

00:37:47.326 --> 00:37:58.416
Because a lot of the time, especially now, so just to come back to the point you made Cheryl of rising inflation, and I know in the UK media, maybe similar where you are, but in the UK media, for months and months, it's like the cost of living crisis.

00:37:58.717 --> 00:38:49.891
It's literally like the cost of living crisis, you know, it's so again, it's like it's heightening, causing people to live in a state of fear and lack because it's bringing their attention to it a great remedy is like yeah how can you get into gratitude when you're circulating money so even when you're paying for a bill how can you be grateful so even if it's like the electricity bill um you know the car tax whatever it might be like really acknowledge well i'm pretty glad that i've got electricity actually i mean if the fridge didn't turn on all my food would go off and but you know i can heat food and i'm not going to get food poisoning because i can cook it right through and like really we take so much for granted so we forget when we're paying bills sometimes that we did actually receive something for the thing that we're paying for right this and this is so powerful and again now you start to get into the energy of like all that you have so now you're feeling more abundant and prosperous rather than the lack and the not enoughness

00:38:50.112 --> 00:39:12.757
oh my goodness that is fantastic and i'm gonna do it too because i definitely do not pay bills with that attitude and so you've given us i'm just mindful of the time listeners because karen and i would talk all day and i'm gonna have to cut us off But you've given us a few things that I think are really good tips that people can try absolutely right now.

00:39:12.777 --> 00:39:14.478
And so thank you for that.

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Now, tell me this.

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How can people get in touch with you if they want to connect with you or they want to find out how to work with you?

00:39:21.606 --> 00:39:22.266
Tell us that.

00:39:22.427 --> 00:39:23.307
Yeah, so fabulous.

00:39:23.367 --> 00:39:24.489
I guess a couple of ways.

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If you're on social media, the best place to find me and hook up with me over there is on Instagram.

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And my handle is adventures in awareness.

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And I'm sure Cheryl, you'll put it in the show notes.

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and likewise I think apart from that maybe just send me an email at support at karenmullinscoaching.com that's another great way just to connect so yeah you can find me there as well

00:39:44.791 --> 00:40:01.989
excellent I will put both of those things in the show notes perfect well you know what I'm going to ask you last and that is the playlist we're going to need another song that puts you in a good mood that you like to listen to to kind of raise your vibration so what will you say this time

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okay so this time it's it's an it's an interesting one actually this time I'm going Taylor Swift okay so I don't know if you've already got that one on the playlist but I that one always lifts me

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I love it my daughter and daughter-in-law are both big Taylor Swift fans so we do have two Taylor Swift songs on the playlist so far but not that one so excellent choice yeah well Karen thank you so much for this I think that this is going to be really powerful and so as a reminder if you haven't listened to last week's episode about budgeting and making decisions with your money katie really went into some very practical and easy ways to get even just get started with that and then that and this together and i think we're off and running with a really positive relationship with money so i appreciate you being here

00:40:55.306 --> 00:40:58.869
oh my pleasure such a joy to um yeah to dive into this awesome

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i hope you enjoyed today's episode omg i would be so honored if you would take a moment, leave a rating, leave a review, or take a screenshot and share on your social media.

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Let's get this message out further into the world.

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Now it's time to head down to the show notes to see the resources I mentioned.

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We may not have learned this before, but it sure is powerful now.