Oct. 17, 2025
54. Changemakers: Redefining Aging Through Surfing and Movement for Women Over 50, with Inessa Love
What if midlife wasn’t the time to slow down—but to get stronger, happier, and more confident in your body than ever before? In this first episode of our Changemakers series, Cheryl talks with Inessa Love, founder of Sassy Silver Surfers and advocate for active aging. Inessa discovered surfing at 50 and says it completely transformed her life—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
She’s now helping women all over the world see that it’s never too late to start something new, get stronger, and have more fun than ever.
What You'll Learn After Listening:
- Why your self-definition about what you “can” or “can’t” do is often the biggest barrier
- The surprising benefits of learning something new in midlife
- What surfing can teach us about strength, joy, and resilience
- Midlife fitness tips to find your version of movement that you love (and why it doesn’t have to be “exercise”)
- The powerful connection between movement, confidence, and community
- How one 85-year-old cyclist changed Inessa’s perspective on aging forever
Take Action
- Don’t overthink it. Just start. Find something you love, do it with a friend, and keep going. “The more you move, the stronger you become.”
- Follow Inessa Love and her community of midlife surfers on Instagram at @sassysilversurfers or join their private Facebook group for women 50+ who surf (or are surf-curious).
About the Changemakers Series
Changemakers celebrates midlife women who are reinventing themselves—personally, professionally, or both—and inspiring others to do the same.
If you’ve made a big pivot or created something new in midlife, Cheryl wants to hear from you! Click the link below to text Cheryl and let her know.
Text me to ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!
Find out more information about The Paper Cleanse and/or sign up by Nov. 23rd at www.cherylpfischer.com/thepapercleanse.
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow Gen X women navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and/or self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
💡Want support through menopause, mindset shifts, or midlife transitions?
- Join the collective by subscribing on Patreon or grab the bonus episodes!
- Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching
Let’s talk midlife body positivity, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.
Connect with Cheryl, Midlife Coach: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website
00:00 - Never Say Never
00:33 - Show Intro And Mission
01:09 - Rethinking The “Not Athletic” Story
02:21 - Why We Limit Ourselves
03:52 - Meet Inessa Love
06:03 - Discovering Surfing At 50
09:07 - Ocean Joy, Hormones, And Mood
10:39 - Challenge, Fear, And Dopamine
14:40 - Creating Sassy Silver Surfers
17:23 - Midlife Is For Us
19:30 - The 250‑Mile Bike Lesson
22:43 - Role Models And Neuroplasticity
24:45 - Community Makes It Stick
26:31 - Breaking Aging Stereotypes
29:30 - Yoga, Recovery, And Longevity
30:46 - How To Start If You’re Inactive
34:03 - Find Groups And Belonging
35:18 - Where To Find Inessa
37:29 - One Big Takeaway
38:36 - Optimism, Movement, And Closing
WEBVTT
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Surfing.
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Have you ever tried it?
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I will confess I have never tried surfing, and I'm not sure that I will.
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Never say never, though.
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And boy, is that a lesson I've learned over and over in life.
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Never say never.
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So today we're gonna talk about the fact that you can do a whole heck of a lot more than you think you can at whatever age you're at right now.
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Stick with me.
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Welcome to Mind Your Midlife, your go-to resource for confidence and success, one thought at a time.
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Unlike most advice out there, we believe that simply telling you to believe in yourself or change your habits isn't enough to wake up excited about life or feel truly confident in your body.
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Each week, you'll gain actionable strategies and oh my goodness, powerful insights to stop feeling stuck and start loving your midlife.
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This is the Mind Your Midlife podcast.
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You may have heard me say before that I was not an athlete when I was growing up.
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My sister was, for sure, and a lot of my friends were.
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Oh my gosh.
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So that takes some movement and marching and routine learning, but I didn't play any sports, and I didn't really have the quickness and the hand-eye coordination to really do any sporting type thing.
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And that's the way I thought of myself is not athletic until I started to realize how powerful it was to move my body.
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And I have tried so many things since spinning classes and taekwondo.
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When my kids were doing it, I was doing it for a little while as well.
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And certainly walking and hiking and going to the gym with a personal trainer, so many things over the years.
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Boxing at a boxing gym, not with people, but with a bag.
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And now you might know I do bar class and I love it, and I'm learning golf and I'm enjoying that most of the time.
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And there are women in our age group, and by our age group, I mean 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond who are doing truly amazing things in terms of being active and taking up new sports and new activities.
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And this is what we're going to talk about today because in our heads we tend to limit ourselves so much.
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You probably have some type of self-definition, and that's what I would mean by self-image in your head about what you can and can't do, just like what you just heard me say.
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I didn't think I was sporty.
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I'm doing air quotes.
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I didn't think I was sporty.
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I didn't think I was athletic.
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So I was trying to find things that I could do that were active, but they didn't require someone who, again, air quotes, wasn't athletic.
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Now, maybe you have a very different self-definition and you absolutely have been an athlete and you believe in your body's ability to move, or you'd fall somewhere in the middle.
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But so often, these mental hangups that we have about what we can do and what we can learn are the real issue behind us not trying that thing we always wanted to do.
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And so I want to inspire you.
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And my guest today is Inessa Love.
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Inessa discovered surfing around her 50th birthday, and five years later, it has transformed her life.
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She's the co-founder of Sassy Silver Surfers, which is an online community of midlife women surfers.
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And she has an Instagram that you will love.
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And interestingly, she is a PhD researcher and advocate for active aging, and she's writing a book about a cycling adventure that you're gonna hear her talk about.
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So I think you're gonna like this conversation.
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And let me just pause right here because this is the first episode of our Change Makers series.
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There are so many women like you out there in the world who have revamped personally, professionally, often both, during this midlife period.
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And by that I mean 40s, 50s.
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And you're gonna hear an amazing story on today's episode.
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I have more coming for you.
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It's gonna be an occasional series about women who have changed it all during midlife and really just done amazing things.
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And if that's you, go to the show notes, click the link where you can send me a text and text me and let me know, and I will send you a form.
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Maybe you can be on mind your midlife.
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I would love to talk to you.
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Here we go.
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So welcome, Inessa.
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Thanks for joining me.
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Thank you, Cheryl.
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This is really fun and great to be here.
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Okay, so for you, I know that staying active in midlife and particularly surfing, which we're gonna talk about, is a powerful topic.
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So tell us how that happened and what you do with your surfing group.
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Yeah, so I'll tell you a little bit of a backstory.
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The most important thing is I was not active when I was young.
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In my 20s, I barely did anything.
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I maybe rollerblade in Central Park.
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I lived in New York.
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On a good weather day, I would rollerblade around Central Park, you know, maybe once a week, three months out of the year.
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So I was not active when I was young.
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And the older I got, the more active I got.
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So it's like not what I thought it's gonna be.
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I thought when you get older, you get less active.
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Well, my case is the opposite.
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So I'm actually that's why I'm an advocate for being active in midlife because I realized that we can.
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I realize that we can.
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And uh, this whole story about it's downhill and being less active is wrong because I am now more active, as I said, than I was in my 20s and 30s.
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It kind of started slowly in my late 30s, early 40s.
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I got into like tai chi and yoga and a little bit of martial arts.
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So that was kind of my gentle entryway, and then mid-40s, I got divorced and I started hiking, and hiking became my therapy, and I was hiking quite a bit.
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In Hawaii, I'm so lucky there's so much hiking, and then doing yoga and and uh doing acro yoga.
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So I was fairly active when I got into surfing, but I feel like surfing took it to a whole other level.
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And I started learning surfing at 50, which is another like myth or something I thought it would be definitely too late.
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I lived in Hawaii for eight years before I started surfing, just because I never thought about it.
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It didn't even occur to me that it was accessible, and then just kind of random was COVID, and a friend was taking a lesson, and she said, Hey, come join me on this lesson.
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And I was like, Okay, there was nothing to do, and they closed the hiking trails.
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So I went and joined her on the lesson, completely random, and I was like, Oh wow, it's not as bad as as scary as I thought it would be.
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Because you know, you go in the small waves, the white water, they push you, you stand up, and it's just like, oh, that's interesting.
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And so that's how I started surfing, and now I'm I'm gonna be 55 in September, and I feel like I'm in a better physical shape than I was in my 30s for sure.
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Mid 30s, I did pretty much nothing.
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I had a young child at 34 and did nothing except going to the park and play on the slides with him, right?
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Yeah, so yeah, and I think it's just so possible.
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It's just and and the other thing is I am happier now too.
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And I think the mental health and physical activity goes so well together, especially finding something that we love doing.
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It just gives such a boost of endorphin.
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I went surfing today, you might have sewed my white face, I just took it off, but it just gives me such a boost of endorphins, and there's all these happy hormones.
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And when we move our bodies, I feel like our emotions follow, our mind follow.
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So it's not just really physical strength, it gives me mental strength, it gives me more like emotional balance, really.
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Yeah, and that helps with menopause and all of these other things, right?
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Just feeling a little more balanced.
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Like whenever I go surfing, whenever I get in the water, I'm always happier afterwards.
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Even if I didn't have a great session, even if I didn't catch many waves, I'm almost always happier afterwards.
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You know, it's interesting because I think surfing might be the perfect combination of you're doing something active and you feel good about that, and you're in the water, which is really good for mental health, and you're on the beach, which is good for grounding and mental health.
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It's kind of the perfect combo.
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It definitely is, and it's not just me.
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I hear from so many women that it's exactly the case, right?
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You're aware of all the research about uh blue mind, there is an awesome book called Blue Mind that talks about how just being near a big body of water just affects our psychology and our physiology as well.
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It's amazing, yeah.
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And what is it about surfing in particular?
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Because I'm aware that somebody listening might be near somewhere they could surf and they might not be at all, of course.
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Yes, but what is it about this that has really uh affected your body and your physical fitness and has helped you to get in shape?
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Well, there's so many things, just like wait, like just like you said, being in the water, being in the ocean, it's really, really amazing.
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Uh another thing is it was really challenging.
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I have to be honest, because starting to learn surfing at the 50s, it wasn't easy.
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And I was in a decent shape.
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I was never an athlete, as I said, but I was in a good shape by the time I started, but still it was so difficult.
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And there is part of me that likes like overcoming challenges.
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So there is just like, oh, I gotta, I have to get it.
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I just have to get it, and that never stops because now that I'm finally getting it, five years later, like I want to get better now.
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So it's almost like you know, like why video games are so addictive, because you have levels and you pass one level, and there is a next level that is, you know, has all these new coins to collect.
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And there is always this journey with surfing.
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You never like reach the point, and maybe some people do those who've surfed their whole life, right?
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But for me, it's still like I'm still learning, and I love that aspect of it too, that I'm still learning and still it's still physically challenging, but it also like it has this perfect combo of a challenge and reward.
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The reward is just also so amazing.
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Like when you catch a wave, that's just a feeling of like, oh, I really did it.
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Wow, you know, just nothing like it.
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Like that moment of wow is incredible, and of course, before that moment of wow, there's moment of like, oh shit, am I gonna catch it or am I gonna wipe out?
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Um, so that's that moment is there too.
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Almost every time there is this little fear moment, and sometimes it's more than fear, it's close to panic, like, oh my god, what's gonna happen?
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And then it's just like this ecstasy, really.
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Yeah, and you know what?
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I can't think of very many other physical fitness type of things that would have that sort of immediate risk reward like that.
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That's interesting.
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Yeah, maybe that's why surfing is really addictive.
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Like that I'm talking to people now, so I'm also talking to so many women because of this.
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This releases this dopamine, right?
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It's not like going on a hike.
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Hike is great, and I still love hiking.
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But this dopamine, the hit that it hits you with, it's really something.
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That's why I think it's like a video game, it has that element of a little bit of an addiction to it, but it's the healthiest addiction you know I can think of.
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I agree.
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If you're gonna get addicted to something like this, then okay, right.
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So you have a group, sassy silver surfers.
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Tell us what you're doing with that group.
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How did that come about?
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So, how it came about is when I started surfing at 50, I saw, you know, women in the lineup, and most of them were younger, but occasionally I would see an older woman and I would like gravitate toward them.
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I would just like, okay, I need to meet that woman, I need to learn from that woman.
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And I would be just like approaching them and made some friends.
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Like I have a friend who surfs here, she's in her 70s, and she's just such a role model for me.
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And so for me, on my journey to learn, it was really helpful to find those kind of role models and people I can look up to and people could I can say, okay, if she's surfing, I can learn.
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I have 20 more years to get to that level.
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And so that's why I started this group with my colleague Lisa Alfono.
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We connected on Facebook and she was kind of saying the same thing.
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I want a group for older women surfers, and I'm like, oh, and I want a group for older women surfers, let's do it together.
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So, two years ago, more than two years, we started this Facebook group that is Sassy Silver Surfers, and there are women from all over the world, and we're very, how should I say, exclusive.
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You have to be 50 and over, and you have to be a woman.
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Now we don't check your level of surfing.
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You can say you're surf curious and you just want inspiration.
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Uh, that's also fine.
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But it's a closed group, and so more recently I started doing this Instagram, also called Sassy Silver Surfers, with the same kind of mission of inspiring other women and giving other women role models that I didn't have.
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If I had them in my 40s, I would have started eight years earlier.
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If I just saw, oh, this is possible and so much fun.
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Why didn't I start earlier?
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So I'm sharing now this story, my own story and my own what I've learned and the tips, and also other women's stories.
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Um yesterday I shared a story of a woman who started learning to surf at 66.
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Can you imagine?
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66.
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She went to her first all women's surf retreat in Costa Rica.
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Now she's 69 and she's surfing.
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She moved to Costa Rica from California, and she says she never looked back.
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And those kinds of things inspire me so much, and that's why I love sharing that, and that's what I do on my Instagram.
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I'm sharing stories like that to provide inspiration, that it's not too late.
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And surfing, of course, is not for everybody.
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Now I'm so surprised continuously how many women say I always wanted to try.
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In fact, just this morning, like an hour before, I checked a comment from one of the women, and she's 54, and she said, I always wanted to surf.
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And now I just took my second lesson and I'm booked my third.
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And it just gives me so much joy, you know, like the women doing that, you know, and sharing that.
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It's just like I'm almost, you know, touched to tears that she, you know, ended up sharing that on Instagram.
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You know, we can expand that to other things for sure, because I definitely have had conversations with so many women who've said, I always wanted to do whatever.
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Right.
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Right.
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And somehow we never did it, we didn't have time, or the kids were growing up, or we didn't think we could do it, or who knows what the reason was.
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But now we can do so many of those things.
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It's amazing.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I just um made this post the other day about midlife is for us.
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I feel like when we were all younger as women, we always kind of serve others, our kids, our partners, our work, our parents.
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It's just uh I was the last thing on my list of things to do when my son was growing up, and when I was trying to have a family and a full-time career, that was really hard.
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But now that we got to midlife, that's one of the perks.
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Most of the people like in their 50s, children already mostly out of the house, and that's the time we can devote it.
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And absolutely right, you know, it doesn't have to be surfing, it's something, you know, it could be something, but we have all these dreams, and I think so many women want to move more, they just don't know where to start or how to start, or just like intimidated by it.
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But I personally am a strong advocate for moving, whatever it is doesn't have to be surfing.
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So I think I mentioned to you that last summer I went on this bike trip, and I'm not a cyclist, I bike to my work, it's three miles each way, and I was like, Yeah, cool, I'm in a great shape.
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And then I signed up for this 250-mile bike ride last summer with my son.
00:19:10.509 --> 00:19:16.990
And I think surfing gave me a little bit of more confidence and strength too.
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So I'm like, I'm in a good shape, I can do it.
00:19:19.390 --> 00:19:22.350
And so I started training really, really hard.
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I was on break from my work, so for three weeks I trained really hard.
00:19:26.029 --> 00:19:29.710
Like basically, that's all I did bike and sleep and eat.
00:19:29.710 --> 00:19:34.110
And then I went on this tour and I did a 250-mile trip with my son.
00:19:34.110 --> 00:19:39.390
And I cannot say it was easy, but it was in a way life-changing too.
00:19:39.390 --> 00:19:47.390
Yeah, and and the reason why it was life-changing is I was 54, and I, you know, we have I still have those thoughts.
00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:49.630
Like, is it too late for me to be doing it?
00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:53.150
I never cycled more than three miles, maybe five.
00:19:53.150 --> 00:20:07.309
And now all of a sudden, I went on my first ride and I did 15 miles, and I thought I was gonna die because next morning I woke up and I had to take like painkillers and take a bath, and I'm just like, what did I do to my body?
00:20:07.309 --> 00:20:10.110
But slowly, that's amazing.
00:20:10.110 --> 00:20:23.870
Like after that 15 miles, and I was so beat up, but like three days later I did 17, and three days after that I did 19, and I slowly started building to it, and my body adapted to it.
00:20:23.870 --> 00:20:27.549
We are just more adaptable than we think we are.
00:20:27.549 --> 00:20:38.430
Nature is so uh wise and smart because the more we move, you know, we break down the muscle, but then it rebuilds it stronger.
00:20:38.430 --> 00:20:50.670
Otherwise, it's not gonna build a strong muscle if we don't break it down, you know, because it's expensive in terms of energy and you know resources that the body has to use to rebuild those muscles.
00:20:50.670 --> 00:20:56.350
So I came up with this mantra: the more we move, the stronger we become.
00:20:56.350 --> 00:21:00.910
The more we move, the stronger we become, and it's just inevitable.
00:21:00.910 --> 00:21:05.630
But we have to move more, we have to move more next day than we did the day before, right?
00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:17.230
So the bike ride, and the reason it changed my life is I met this woman who was 85, my friend Sue, on that ride.
00:21:17.230 --> 00:21:18.670
85.
00:21:18.670 --> 00:21:32.190
She was riding a bicycle, she did not have any bike, she had a regular road bike, and the first day on the tour, it's 50-mile day, and by the end of it, I'm just I just done with it.
00:21:32.190 --> 00:21:35.870
I'm so done, like I don't want to be doing it anymore.
00:21:35.870 --> 00:21:39.950
And I was just exhausted, and there is like one last hill.
00:21:39.950 --> 00:21:46.509
So I met up with Sue like a few miles before that last heel, and we started chatting, and she was I was blown away.
00:21:46.509 --> 00:21:49.789
I knew there was an oldest rider on the tour, was 85.
00:21:49.789 --> 00:21:51.230
So I just was so lucky.
00:21:51.230 --> 00:21:55.870
Okay, here you are, and then on that last hill, we start going up.
00:21:55.870 --> 00:21:56.750
Guess what?
00:21:56.750 --> 00:22:05.150
She passes me, she passes me, and she goes, you know, she leaves me behind on that hill.
00:22:05.150 --> 00:22:06.990
And I was just like, what?
00:22:06.990 --> 00:22:08.190
What is this?
00:22:08.190 --> 00:22:09.390
I don't understand.
00:22:09.390 --> 00:22:11.470
So that changed my life, really.
00:22:11.470 --> 00:22:21.309
That just not just that moment, but learning, meeting her, and learning about Sue and her lessons and how did she end up there, right?
00:22:21.309 --> 00:22:24.190
And that's the message that I want to send.
00:22:24.190 --> 00:22:26.430
It that does it's not about surfing.
00:22:26.430 --> 00:22:27.630
She loves biking.
00:22:27.630 --> 00:22:30.589
I don't love biking, I'm never gonna love biking.
00:22:30.589 --> 00:22:32.029
I'm never gonna be a cyclist.
00:22:32.029 --> 00:22:36.029
I cycle now just to maintain a little bit what I've gained.
00:22:36.029 --> 00:22:43.230
But she likes it, and that's another lesson is finding what you like, finding what works for you.
00:22:43.230 --> 00:22:48.829
Because in in our society, we are told to go exercise, but exercise is boring.
00:22:48.829 --> 00:22:54.350
Going to exercise when we have to, it's not fun.
00:22:54.350 --> 00:22:57.150
You're practicing golf, right?
00:22:57.150 --> 00:22:58.829
Or you're learning something, right?
00:22:59.150 --> 00:23:00.430
I'm learning golf, yes.
00:23:00.750 --> 00:23:02.029
Yeah, I saw that.
00:23:02.029 --> 00:23:23.950
It's so fun because I think just learning something, whatever it is, that process of learning, it's what keeps us young because it works on our brain and it works on our body, and it's actually as you're learning your, you know, what you call it, this the swing, golf swing, you work in your brain and your body at the same time.
00:23:23.950 --> 00:23:34.029
And that's actually research shows that it's that's what keeps our brain young, it's what prevents Alzheimer's, is well moving body and mind at the same time, right?
00:23:34.029 --> 00:23:37.309
And that happens when we learn a new skill.
00:23:37.309 --> 00:23:41.470
Did you always want to learn golf, or how did that start for you?
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