Nov. 26, 2025

Body Image Mindset Series Part 3: Size Labels Aren’t Self-Worth

Part 3: Ever look at a clothing size or a photo of yourself and feel your confidence drop in two seconds flat? You’re not alone. In this private Confidence Deep Dive episode, we’re continuing our body image series with a practical, mindset-first reset for midlife women.

We’re talking about what body image really is: not what you look like, but what you think and feel about your body — and what you’re subconsciously projecting into the world. We’ll go straight at the most common triggers (the scale, the size tag, unflattering photos), and I’ll walk you through specific ways to stop those moments from spiraling into self-criticism.

🎯 OMG Moment: Clothing sizes and scale numbers don’t define you. They’re neutral facts — and your worth has nothing to do with either one.

Take Action
Try this two-part reset:

Find your brand and style sweet spot. Look in your closet: what brands and cuts consistently fit and make you feel good? Start there and stop putting yourself in situations that trigger “why doesn’t this fit?” spirals.
Do the photo reframe. Look at pictures of yourself from 5–10+ years ago. Notice how likely you were too critical then… even though you can see now how beautiful you were. Let that be proof that your brain is not a reliable mirror. Then remind yourself: Future-you will think the exact same thing about you today.
Reach out to Cheryl via email at bonus@cherylpfischer.com. (These are answered personally - not with a bot!)

Why This Episode Matters
Midlife brings body changes, shifting hormones, and a lifetime of cultural messaging. That means body-image triggers can feel louder than ever. But you don’t have to let a size tag, a scale number, or a weird camera angle run your self-confidence. This episode helps you ground in reality, build a kinder inner narrative, and practice seeing yourself clearly — not critically.

Support the show

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Let’s talk health after 50, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.

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00:00 - Redefining Body Image

00:38 - Naming Common Triggers

01:20 - Clothing Sizes Without Judgment

03:54 - Find Brands And Styles That Fit

05:16 - Photo Review For Power Outfits

07:18 - Look Back To Rewire Self-Perception

13:11 - Photo Posing And Perspective Basics

15:11 - Angles, Camera Height, And Mindset

15:39 - Detach Self-Worth From Snapshots

WEBVTT

00:00:06.959 --> 00:00:10.240
Hello, my confidence deep dive friend.

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It is time for part three about our body image.

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And remember, by body image, I don't mean actually what you look like.

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I mean what you think about your body, how you feel about your body.

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It's more about what you're projecting into the world than what you actually look like.

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So today we're going to talk about shifting our thinking.

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And we've got to go into some practical pieces of this one because there are a lot of triggers that are potentially going to get you.

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And by triggers, I mean the number on the scale, the size of clothing you need, pictures you see of yourself.

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I mean, I think those are the top ones, really.

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It could also be what people say about you, but I mean, we know we shouldn't listen to anything people say that's rude about us because that's usually them projecting their insecurity and it's rude.

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So let's not focus on that part.

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We're going to focus on these other triggers or hot buttons that may become a problem.

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So if you are out shopping for clothes and you believe that you wear a size 10, and so you go pick up a size 10 in whatever you need and you try it on and it's too small.

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Sometimes that sends us into a bit of a negative spiral, and we start telling ourselves how, gosh, it's because I haven't been eating well, and I can't believe I made this in that decision, and I look horrible, and what's somebody in my life gonna think?

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All of this from the fact that that particular size of that particular item didn't fit.

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It has happened to me, I'm sure it has happened to you.

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And so let's just remember a couple of things.

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Number one, sizes are different for every brand.

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Number two, sizes are different often for a different style.

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If I put on like a low rise fitted pants versus mid-rise loose pants, like that's a completely different fit.

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It depends on the material, it just depends on so many things.

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And it's easy for me to sit here behind the microphone and say that to you.

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I recognize that.

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We've all been in the dressing room trying on something and just feeling like, ugh, that mirror, ah, uh.

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But it's really important for me to say that clothing sizes and in fact the number on the scale are not a measure of you.

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They are not even a part of what I would call body image.

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They are practical things in life that are measuring something.

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Clothing size is measuring the size that the company made that, and the next bigger number is bigger, and the next smaller number is smaller, and that's how the company decided it.

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Now, do I wish that everybody used the same size scale, or maybe they made it in inches like men's pants do?

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Of course, wouldn't that be so much easier?

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And I don't think that's gonna happen.

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So they are not a label of you, they are a label of that item and what that company thinks relative to its other items, it's it's how they're they're categorizing.

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That's all.

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There's no good or bad, there's no morality judgment in a clothing size.

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So I say all of that just so that maybe those words will be in your head.

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And my advice so that we don't allow this to trip us up and create a, again, negative view of our own bodies, is to find a brand that fits you well and then just skip the rest because it takes us out of the situations where we're unpleasantly surprised that size whatever is supposed to fit and why doesn't it?

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And oh no, I'm a terrible person.

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No.

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So for me, that brand happens to be Talbot's.

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I know exactly what size I wear.

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It almost always fits, and I have to say almost always, because every now and then they have something weird that they're doing with the size of one item as well.

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But I just shop there and I know what fits me, and and it takes all the stress out of it.

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So maybe there's a brand that fits you well.

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Look through your closet.

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Do you always buy a certain brand of pants?

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Or do you have a lot of pants from a certain brand or a lot of tops from a certain brand?

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Find a brand that fits you well, and then just stop looking around everywhere else if sizes have been a problem with your mental image of yourself.

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Now, styles can do this as well.

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So I would also say maybe there's a certain style that works for you.

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So the next exercise that I want you to do is look at pictures, and this is going to be a mindset exercise, but also practical style.

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I want you to look at pictures of yourself with an open mind.

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It might help to relax a bit beforehand, to do some deep breaths, four counts in, hold it for a couple of counts, four counts out, so that you're not in a fight or flight state.

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Your nervous system is calm.

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And then I want you to go through and look at pictures of yourself, maybe that you have on your phone, or maybe that you have from a while ago in a photo album.

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And I want you to see when were you really happy with how you were looking?

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Was there a certain style of outfit that you were wearing?

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Like for me, I love to wear jeans and a blazer, and I have like dressier versions of that and more casual versions of that.

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It's not what I wear all the time, but I feel really good in that, and I feel like I'm happy with pictures of me dressed like that.

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So that's what I wear when I need to know that I'm best foot forward, super confident, if that makes sense.

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Maybe for you it's a dress or it's a tunic with narrow pants or it's wide leg pants, who knows?

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But I want you to just look casually with a light energy and see when did I feel really good?

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When was I really happy with how I looked?

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Maybe that's the style that is my power armor.

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And remember that.

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You don't have to dress that way all the time, but if you remember that, then that gives you the option to kind of put on this extra layer of confidence because you in your brain have seen the evidence and you believe this is how I look great, and that means feel great.

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Now, the other reason that I want you to spend some time looking at pictures of you is I want us to go back in time a little bit.

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And I want you to find some pictures of you when you were at least five years younger than you are now, maybe 10 or 20 years younger even.

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And I want you to look back at those pictures.

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And here's what was probably happening in your head, especially when you were maybe 15 or 20 years younger.

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You were probably very self-critical.

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I can think of when I was in high school, it was actually the first time we had belonged to a community pool because we had had a pool in our backyard in the previous place we lived.

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And so I was going to the pool with all these people I knew in school, and I was wearing a bikini but thinking I was heavy and I shouldn't be.

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And I look back at pictures of me now and go, oh my gosh, I looked great.

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What was I criticizing myself about?

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I what?

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I should have realized then that if I just added a little confidence inside, then I would have carried everything off so well because I looked great.

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Are you kidding?

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Oh my goodness.

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When you look back at yourself as a younger person, you are most likely going to realize that you cannot believe you didn't realize how gorgeous you were.

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Seriously.

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Look at your skin, look at your figure, look at your face.

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Amazing, gorgeous.

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And yet at the time, you were probably quite critical of yourself.

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And maybe not all the time.

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Maybe you had more confidence than I did at that point, but sometimes you were comparing yourself to someone else, you were going through maybe a tough time in your life, and so you were down on yourself and very self-critical.

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But look at how gorgeous you were.

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And what we're doing is we're implanting into our brains this realization that you are far more gorgeous and lovely than you realize.

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Always.

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In 40 years from now, when you are in your 90s, you're gonna look back at pictures from now and think, oh, I was so gorgeous.

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How dare I criticize myself?

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How dare I feel badly about my body.

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So do it now.

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Do this exercise of looking at old pictures as often and as much as you need.

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The goal is to create a new belief in your deep self-conscious brain that you are so much more gorgeous than you realize because you are.

00:10:17.039 --> 00:13:28.399
So if you want to have more focus on your face and you want the rest of your body to look maybe a tad bit smaller, then lean your face, push your face forward.

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If you want to minimize any chin issues or neck issues, when you push your face forward, bring your chin down a little bit.

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You're stretching out your neck, but you're also angling your chin down.

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But now your face is going to be a bit larger compared to the rest of you.

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You can also lean your entire upper body a bit forward, and I don't mean a ton, a bit forward, so that your shoulders look more prominent versus maybe your chest, your stomach, your hips, whatever else.

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This is why people sometimes will say, bend one leg and stick your butt back, or bend the other leg and stick your butt forward.

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Maybe you're creating bigger hips or smaller hips.

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So it's just perspective.

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Try, put a camera, set it somewhere, and try standing in different ways and allow the camera to take pictures of you and then see what you like.

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And let me tell you, I want you to be in a good frame of mind to do this exercise because any that you don't like are not a judgment on your body.

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Just delete them.

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It was a bad angle.

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Now, the other thing is having a camera a bit higher is also good because then your face, your head is closer to the camera, again, looking a little bit bigger versus the rest of you.

00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:11.519
And maybe that angle doesn't show chin and neck stuff, which we in midlife might be thinking about.

00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:17.360
So there's a lot of people online who will give you tips on how to look great in photos.

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Go look for some for midlife women.

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Those are the basics though.

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Whatever is closest to the camera looks bigger.

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Period.

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So don't allow a picture to create for you a self-image belief that you hold on to in your mind.

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It's a snapshot, it's flat, it's not the real you.

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I'll see you on the next episode.